"Getting older's not been on my plans"

      I am aware that this blog post will be hurtful and perhaps a little over my head, but the topic came up tonight when speaking with a friend and I have been ruminating on it...so I thought I would write my thoughts. I want to preface this with: I have never been raped, but know someone very very dear to me that has and so I am not the be all end all of this subject, but I realize how real and scary it is. I also have no data whatsoever...       That being said, I want to address this new "nail polish" that was created by 4 college students from North Caroline State University. Just recently these 4 gentlepeople invented a nail polish that detects several known date rape drugs including Rohypnol, xanax, and GHB. Essentially, this polish when worn by a person can detect the presence of these drugs by dipping the finger in the drink. It turns the polish black indicating the presence of said drug.         When I first heard about...

     Leviticus 19:28: " Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I  am  the LORD."       That sounds pretty straight forward to me. So why have I spent at least 800$ give or take 50 bucks on tattoos? I mean I obviously care what scripture says, but I have blatantly gone against the "inspired word of God." What a hot topic! Let me preface with this: I LOVE tattoos! I always have; I always will. I can't say that I won't get anymore. My question is this: why is it still so offensive to Christians today?       I was always writing on my skin. From an early age, I could be found with ink all over me in different pictures and words and sayings. I knew that I would one day make the choice to have a permanent mark on my body that I was not born with. I craved it! Even though I knew what the society of which I was raised thought about them...I didn't care. I still don't.    ...

"What's your drug of choice?" she asked. "Hope," he said. The most addicting of them all.

     I am a liar, a cheat, a thief, and a blasphemer. I am simply, a sinner. I have nothing, but what the King of Glory has bestowed upon me, and I deserve no more than hell, and its fire. I am utterly lost...but I have been given grace.      I am loved, and I sin. I am accepted, and I sin. I am alive, and I sin...but I have been given grace.      So what then is grace? Grace is simple, yet undeserved. A gift of pure mercy, given to us, sinners who live in a world where Satan rules.      Who deserves this undeserved gift? All have sinned, and all need grace. Fortunately for us as sinners, Christ has taken mercy on us, to grant us something we do not deserve.      Grace points out, that we are all sinners, yet never denied God's love and mercy.      In a society of unexplainable desire, where is our holiness? As sinners we are granted holiness through Christ. Only with grace are we allowed to e...

              I remember when my mom asked me if I wanted to bury my brother or cremate him. She gave me the option, and without going into the detail of why I picked the cremation--I did. We hadn't decided where we were going to bury Andrew knowing that we have no real ties to Tulsa. My family had always been somewhat nomadic. So, when my mom came to me one late night and suggested burying him at Conception cemetery I knew it was meant to be. But it was 13 days later before we interned him.       Tomorrow is the feast day of St. Augustine, one of my brother's favorite theologians, and the day we buried him. Every year on this day, my brother would call and say, "Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you..." It was an excerpt from St. Augustine's "Confessions." And how apropos that we got to bury him on this day of all days.       I remember getting ready on this early Saturday...

       I was completely sold on the idea to get a dog. I wanted one, and I was just extremely excited to get a miniature Schnauzer. There were two left...the little guy and his bigger brother. I got first choice. Meet Dutch. The love of my life. I didn't realize, as do most people, how much this little creature would greatly impact my life. I know that everyone says they have the best dog, and if their dog means as much to them as Dutch does to me...then they can't be lying.        I used to have this bear. It was about 3 feet tall, white at one point, and slept with me every night for 23 years. I gave the bear up for this little guy, and he has since become my comfort. When Andrew passed, I was a complete mess. I wept and cursed and acted confused, but not once did this guy leave my side (well...he did piss on my friend Michael 3 times in that one day) but other than that Dutch had to have one paw touching me at all times.    ...

      I read this quote on Facebook today: "You are where God wants you to be at this very moment. Every experience is part of his divine plan."       Yeah...I really don't know how I feel about this. From first glance, I could probably concede to the quote. I could paraphrase it into layman's terms and say that "everything happens for a reason." But that could be a cop out or almost deus ex machina. I can't say that I don't believe that, but sometimes I wonder why. Do I believe this because I was taught to or because it is truth?         When I read again the quote from above, I thought, "Am I really where God wants me to be at this very moment in time? Am I doing according to his divine plan everything that I am supposed to?" I don't know. I can't answer that. So this quote I can't stand behind. Now, had it read: "You are where you are at this very moment, and God knew it before you even existed." That I can crou...