Now, I do understand, as a big girl who has never been thin, that fatness comes with a certain degree of personal responsibility. I get that. Truly. However, in the grand idea that it is easier to eat fatty foods that are highly addicting than it is to eat healthy, we are constantly battling what we know to be true and what society tells us. The idea that it is better for our longevity to eat better and healthier, but that we should love ourselves where we are and no one should say otherwise.
A few years back I learned of the term: fat shaming. It is something that has taken the world by storm. I know what it is, but just to be sure, I read up a little. Some say it is a term coined by overweight people to take the guilt off of themselves for being overweight. Some say it is coined by feminists to allow overweight women to love their body no matter their size. Some say it is an important thing for everyone to be aware of in allowing people to be who they are.
What do I think? I think it should be a crime to shame anyone for anything weight included. What people need to realize is that overweight people already shame themselves. It is so hard living in a society that worships the thin and degrades the fat. And those that think they are fat already hate themselves a little. Perhaps not all but a lot.
In the Tumblr community, I see hundreds of posts a month that are in praise of loving one's body. Hundreds that are strictly dedicated to loving who you are in your own skin. I love this, but I see hundreds that also glorify the thin and the desire to be thin. So, in a sense they negate each other. When the billboards and the movies and the commercials and all other money making media outlets shove thinness in our faces, we have no where to go but to shame. Shame for ourselves. Shame for others.
Being fat sucks! I hate being fat! Hate hate hate! But, I never hated my body. I never had a lack of self-esteem. Sound dichotomous? It is, but it was true. Granted, I wanted to be thin, but obviously not enough to change. Until one day I did. One day I was so tired I did something. And I started to become a thinner version of myself.
Today, when I tell people I was 87 pounds heavier, they don't believe me. When I pull out a picture and show it to someone who knew me before and after, they can't remember me ever being fat. They never saw me as that. What I realized was that when I started to lose weight I started to become the person people saw...just me. A thinner me. But just me.
I only recall one instance where I was called out because of my weight. One. But, it was so embarrassing that I still remember. Imagine if someone gets called out all the time. Think of the long term damage that does to some one's psyche. Fat shaming is real. Shaming is real. We, as a society, spend so much time shaming others for their momentary impact in our lives. How about we take the time to know someone first before passing any vocal judgements.
Why do I bring this up? Because I was fat shamed. Not by others, but by myself. I can't imagine having to spend a great deal of my energy not only counteracting my own self-harming thoughts but the other thousand shameful things said by the world. If you want to live better, do it. If you. You. Doesn't it make things so much more simple if we just concentrate on making ourselves better people than trying to make someone else better? What is the quote? "Trying to change someone and their views is like throwing paper into a fire." Damn...how predictably worthless.
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