When we try to live our lives, we have one opinion that matters, our own. We have two things to keep in mind: our happiness and our own responsibility. Nothing else truly matters. Nobody else's opinion really matters. We have the option of respecting and responding to other's opinion of ourselves, but we don't have to.
That's what I am coming to realize. If you want to live my life, then please make a difference in it. If you want to live my life, then support it. If you want to live my life, then take control. But, if you don't do any of those things then please realize that your opinion is just that: an opinion.
This really does make me sound like a selfish, uncaring human being. It does. I can see that. But, I do believe, in my heart, that is farther from the truth. What I mean to say is this...what does it matter? My actions? My heart? My body? Mt soul? What matters to you? Do you wish me not to be in pain?
Andy and I had this solidified idea: those who don't understand pain can't truly understand. We all experience pain, but we all experience it differently. We can only try to begin to understand what another is going through. When we try to measure up someone else to ourselves, we lose the idea that every experience is unique. Such is pain.
Lately, when trying to explain my new relationship, I have this underlying explanation: I have no fear. When he asked me last night, "How happy are you?" I responded, "When I think of you, I don't think of happiness. But, let me explain. Someone once told me I was their constant. They said that even though their world seemed in turmoil and chaos, you were the solid foundation. I didn't understand what that meant until I met you. You are that solid rock on which I stand. I don't quantify my happiness with you...I quantify my constancy."
So, the more people that find out about me dating white boy, the more I become comfortable with the idea. Not because others are uncomfortable or don't understand, but the more I come to heal from the breaks in my heart. I asked him if he was willing to wait for me to catch up to him in being okay with us...his response, "I am still here."
Could I ask for anything else? How selfless he is. How selfish I am. We are a balance. We are a counteracting couple. We are us. If you want to manage it yourself, then live me. Then be me...but you can't because you should be too busy with being yourself.
"To be oneself in a world that is constantly trying to make you someone else is the greatest accomplishment." -Emerson
That's what I am coming to realize. If you want to live my life, then please make a difference in it. If you want to live my life, then support it. If you want to live my life, then take control. But, if you don't do any of those things then please realize that your opinion is just that: an opinion.
This really does make me sound like a selfish, uncaring human being. It does. I can see that. But, I do believe, in my heart, that is farther from the truth. What I mean to say is this...what does it matter? My actions? My heart? My body? Mt soul? What matters to you? Do you wish me not to be in pain?
Andy and I had this solidified idea: those who don't understand pain can't truly understand. We all experience pain, but we all experience it differently. We can only try to begin to understand what another is going through. When we try to measure up someone else to ourselves, we lose the idea that every experience is unique. Such is pain.
Lately, when trying to explain my new relationship, I have this underlying explanation: I have no fear. When he asked me last night, "How happy are you?" I responded, "When I think of you, I don't think of happiness. But, let me explain. Someone once told me I was their constant. They said that even though their world seemed in turmoil and chaos, you were the solid foundation. I didn't understand what that meant until I met you. You are that solid rock on which I stand. I don't quantify my happiness with you...I quantify my constancy."
So, the more people that find out about me dating white boy, the more I become comfortable with the idea. Not because others are uncomfortable or don't understand, but the more I come to heal from the breaks in my heart. I asked him if he was willing to wait for me to catch up to him in being okay with us...his response, "I am still here."
Could I ask for anything else? How selfless he is. How selfish I am. We are a balance. We are a counteracting couple. We are us. If you want to manage it yourself, then live me. Then be me...but you can't because you should be too busy with being yourself.
"To be oneself in a world that is constantly trying to make you someone else is the greatest accomplishment." -Emerson
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