Skip to main content

The sun will come out...when?

   I could have really used the sun today. You know that feeling between being in an okay mood and being in a not so okay mood? Well, I am there. And, I know for a fact that the sun would have pushed me to the side of okay...or maybe even taken me to great. No sun today. Just grey, blah weather. I hate it! It makes me doubt things. It makes me create things in my mind. It makes me think of the demeantors breeding bad juju.
   I need the sun. Today has been more of a blah day than I have experienced in a long while. The weather isn't just hazy, I have become haze. The weather isn't just dank. I have become dank. The weather isn't just cold. I have become cold. So much so that the phone I answer at work would better serve me if thrown through the window in front of me. So much so that the cell phone I keep in touch with my friends would better serve me if broken.
    SAD: seasonal affective disorder. I think most people know what this is. I have never thought I was driven so much by the state of sunlight in my life. I have been mistaken. I don't think I have this completely. It is usually a type of depression that starts in the fall and goes through the winter months. I am not affected so greatly, but I am affected. I crave the sun!
    The saddest part (no pun intended) is that those around me have to deal with this. Yesterday, I had a great day! But, even though I had no sun, I had high 50's temps. That was enough to get me through. This all sounds so petty and pitiful...but I have been tracking myself, and I am affected. Here is to hoping that by tomorrow the sun and my mood will be up!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...
Post a Comment
Read more

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...
Post a Comment
Read more