This day last year was hell. Just hell. I had been betrayed by someone I thought I loved, and while trying to wade through the pain, I was denying myself the ability to heal. That seems so long ago.
This year, for the Christmas holiday, I am delightfully happy. And while trying to not put so much pressure on one person for that happiness, I would be remiss if I didn't.
This holiday started, last weekend at my cousin's wedding in Kansas City. After a few days of work, on Wednesday, there was a great family Christmas cookout. Thursday it continued with a fun day with my family eating, fellowshipping, and playing games. It went into the late hours with Mass at my favorite church in the world, and today it kept going with a relaxing Christmas afternoon of more food and good company.
And throughout this entire season there has been one underlying thought: this is nothing like last year. This is nothing like the last 5 years. This is nothing like any other year. And throughout this entire season, there has been one constant face: his. White boy's face has been that one face that has taken all of the exhaustion and turned it in to energy. With all of the places and faces I have seen this season his has been there through it all. And I am so blessed.
On the way back from Tahlequah this evening, I told him how different just the last 2 Christmases have been. We both agreed that this year is and was the best. My favorite part was when he was kissing me goodbye he turned me toward the moon and said, "In 19 years, we will see another Christmas full moon together." His consistency has been something I have clung to for awhile.
I am blessed. My family is blessed, and I thank God for this humble and constant man he has brought into my life. I love you, bee. Merry 1st Christmas, mi amor.
This year, for the Christmas holiday, I am delightfully happy. And while trying to not put so much pressure on one person for that happiness, I would be remiss if I didn't.
This holiday started, last weekend at my cousin's wedding in Kansas City. After a few days of work, on Wednesday, there was a great family Christmas cookout. Thursday it continued with a fun day with my family eating, fellowshipping, and playing games. It went into the late hours with Mass at my favorite church in the world, and today it kept going with a relaxing Christmas afternoon of more food and good company.
And throughout this entire season there has been one underlying thought: this is nothing like last year. This is nothing like the last 5 years. This is nothing like any other year. And throughout this entire season, there has been one constant face: his. White boy's face has been that one face that has taken all of the exhaustion and turned it in to energy. With all of the places and faces I have seen this season his has been there through it all. And I am so blessed.
On the way back from Tahlequah this evening, I told him how different just the last 2 Christmases have been. We both agreed that this year is and was the best. My favorite part was when he was kissing me goodbye he turned me toward the moon and said, "In 19 years, we will see another Christmas full moon together." His consistency has been something I have clung to for awhile.
I am blessed. My family is blessed, and I thank God for this humble and constant man he has brought into my life. I love you, bee. Merry 1st Christmas, mi amor.
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