Skip to main content

"I'll take 'I choose you' for eternity, Alex"

  "In a relationship, what can be more powerful than I choose you?"

  Lately, perhaps because I am getting older, or because I am feeling insecure, or because even when I have a ring on my finger I still need reassuring, I have been thinking about me...or more specifically my relationship with white boy. I think sometimes I over think.
  I remember a video I watched about the difference between men and women and the way their brain works. In essence, it was a woman can think of 100 things at one time and a man can literally think about nothing. Which fascinated me...literally blank. So, when I tell him I need a drive to think about all aspects of my life he being one of them, he is taken back.
  Last night I took a drive. Three hours to the dam and I was not better just more calm. I realized something on that drive. When I drive, I think of nothing. I have the ability to think about so many things at once that nothing has the ability to take hold in my brain. Save one...
  Cold feet. I have heard that it happens before one gets married. But, because of the scary idea of being married, I feel like I am getting a hint of it now. And my fear is that if I let frostbite set in then I will inevitably lose everything.
  Tonight, when relaying (apparently out of nowhere according to J) my thoughts and feelings that I have been having the last few days, he said, "I don't know what else to say but that I love you." It's like he is asked the above question on the game of Life Jeopardy and his answer is standing there with his heart pockets turned out saying "I have nothing left to give! You have everything!"
  So why do things and thoughts like these: "I don't deserve you," "You are so much better than I could have," "Am I a burden to you," "Are our good times more than my emotional breakdowns" run through my head? Perhaps it is inevitable. Perhaps this is all just part of it. I know I have said it before, but there is still a part of me that thinks he will take it back thinking it has all being for naught.
  His reassurance is like a fresh spring in the middle of the desert. I may always need it, or I may one day be able to relax in the comforting thought that he loves me and that he did choose me. Above all others, he chose me. That truth will help me for now. Until he must once again tell me that it is he and I...just he and I.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...