Skip to main content

52 weeks of falling

  It was completely unassuming. I tend to be that way at times.
  On the night before my 30th birthday, he told me he had 2 questions for me: "How was I going to introduce him to my friends, and would I be his girlfriend." I was confused at the first, a little shocked at the second but said yes, and the rest was history.
  Until I couldn't take it. I was drowning in my own past hurts. Being his girlfriend was suffocating me, and I needed to get out. Around August last year I took it back. I told him I couldn't be his girlfriend just yet. It was a word that held too much weight and I couldn't be that. I truly thought he would take off and run away from me. There was a little hope that he would. But...instead since he knew I was a traditionalist and needed the formal asking, he asked me how he would know I was ready. I told him I would ask him the next time. If there was a next time.
   I had told him if I asked him, I would give him everything and at that point I believed we had a chance. There would be no going back. The next month and a half were mentally grueling. I was at war with my head and my heart. I knew this man would love and cherish me forever, but I couldn't stand the consistency. I had been in relationship after relationship with men who were hot one minute and cold the next. All I knew was dramatic fluctuations in feelings.
  September 11th, 2015, I decided to lay my fear aside. It was a fun day...putt putt golf, dinner, and a cool evening spent on his porch were delightfully nice. We had been going out on dates more, and he continued to woo me even though I told him I wasn't his any longer. I handed him a box with one question: "will you be my boyfriend?"
  I trembled inside for the fear that I knew what I was saying and what I was promising. I was giving him my forever. I was laying it in the hands of someone who would hold tight and dear the brokenness of my heart.
  One year ago, I asked him. One year. One year and he still holds my forever. I am blessed to have him and to call him mine. We are as different as the sun and moon, and yet we give each other light and beauty.   Baby bee, you are a godsend. I am so honored to be your fiancé and best friend. I struggle without you and find it harder to remember the state of my heart before you. Thank you for one trying, menacing, heartwrenching, glorious, and magical year. We are not perfect, but I find a small sliver of perfection when you hold my hand and call me yours. To another year... *cheer cheers**

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...

Being his girlfriend

"Are you happy being my girlfriend?" He asks. In all seriousness. In all honesty. He asks. Never once have I been asked such a damned difficult question. Never once have I been asked that slight simple question. Never once have I been asked THAT question.   Immediately, my head goes a thousand different directions. I want to give him the most honest answer. But lately I feel as though I am trying to quantity my happiness. Yes. I. Am. Happy. But what is happiness? Am I? Can I honestly say that I am happy? I don't know.   Before I make an ass out of myself, I must say this: not one time in the history of Aly and men has she ever felt like her significant other was shelter. You know that line from Finding Nemo where Dory says to Marlin, "When I look at you, I remember. When I look at you, I am home." That's the way I feel when I am in his arms. Home. Perhaps it best not to tell him such a bold thought, but it's true.   Back to this question. Am I happy b...

The Breath of Life

   "I c-c-c-can't stop shaking." "Oh, that is normal," he said as he looked down at me before he peered back over the blue medical sheet in front of my face. I couldn't. I just couldn't stop the incessant shaking. The moment of welcoming my son had played out in my head everyday for the last 10 months, and I promise, this was NOT it.   We arrived 30 hours prior, and my utopistic idea of induction had not come true.    "There are only a few reasons we would revert to a cesarean section... 1. He is under stress. 2. I am under stress. 3. He isn't progressing after some time, but chances are we won't get there."    So, after 22 hours of quite intense labor, I found myself being prepped for a c-section. I'll be the first to admit, my words of, "We will do what we have to do to have a healthy baby," seemed so far gone now. I wasn't sure emotionally how I had gotten this far, or even how I would get further.   "We are go...