Skip to main content

The bitter taste of neediness

  I am woman...hear me roar! Okay, maybe not roar, especially since I have been dealing with major allergies this week. But still. Today, I have felt the bitter taste of neediness, and I am not quite sure I like it.
  For the last several weeks, he has had to work weekends and I get exactly 1 solid day by his side. Had you asked me a year ago, I would have been fine with that. Now, I am not fairing so well. Granted, it could be because I have started my period and I have been known to get emotional, but even last weekend I felt this way.
  "What way," you ask. That I am more invested in this relationship than him. Lately, I have wanted nothing more than to be by his side...touching him, making sure he is not a figment of my imagination, kissing him, holding hands, and all the typical emotional things vulnerable people want in a relationship. And I'm struggling.
  Last weekend, although slightly under the influence of alcohol, I told him I wanted him to initiate a physical connection with me. Does he tell me he loves me? Yes. Does he tell me he wants to be with me? Yes. Does that change the fact that I feel as of late that I am the one who takes the physical lead in this relationship? No.
  Since he started working weekends too, I feel distance. I feel alone. And, since I have not felt this type of vulnerability, I feel terrified. I'm the one who doesn't need people. I stand on my own two feet! I lean on myself! I'm independent! But... it doesn't seem to be working anymore. And the bitter taste of neediness doesn't sit well. Am I losing myself?!
  When I bring it up to him, I am paranoid. I am typical emotional female. I hate that. I'm the un-needy! What has become of me? It makes me want to become distant and unavailable if only to regain the person I know well. I don't know how to handle this new person . In fact, I don't know if I like this new person. Where did I go?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...

A human mirror

  I look at myself, a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't think myself attractive for a long time. Now, I can look at myself even when someone else is in the bathroom. Before, I entered with head bowed and left the same. There are times when I look at myself 3 times before I leave. Most of the time, I focus on one aspect of myself: my eyes, my hair, my waist line, my clothes...something. I can see how this seems egotistical, but perhaps I am making up for lost mirror time.   However, I can only remember one time that I actually looked into the mirror to see something deeper than my outward appearance. And it scared me. I honestly didn't think it was possible to look into the mirror and truly see oneself. It always seemed so cliché. Until I did it.   That was 4 months ago. The moment I decided to walk away from a "relationship" that was nothing more than a confusing drag. It held me bound and clipped the wings I knew God had given me to f...

79 days and a canker sore

  I haven't written in what seems like forever. I think of something I want to say then sleep takes over, or it is time to get out of the shower. But, I figure I should. So many thoughts...so little time. Today marks 79 days till I am no longer able to mark the "singles" box on any for I fill out. Today marks 79 days till I am no longer a Dever. Today...tomorrow...forever...   I don't stress often. Or at least, I don't feel as though I do. I often feel more overwhelmed but not necessarily stressed. I always thought I handled stress well. In fact, I took a test once that was measuring stress levels. I remember answering... yes to a death (my brother) job change (fired and new job) life change (went back to school) traveling (long vacation) all within a 6 month period. The test concluded that I was stressed to the max. I specifically remember taking this test on the toilet, and thinking... huh... I don't feel it.   However, the older I get, I tend to listen to...