Skip to main content

That mood again

  I call it "the attack of the bitch." I think science might call it the balancing out of testosterone and estrogen. Who knows. But what I do know is that it renders me helpless and emotionally vacant.
  I have heard some women, while on their period, will have a high sex drive. I've heard some women, while on their period, get clingy and emotional. I get weird. I get unpredictable. I get mean.
  To my own benefit, this "attack " usually only lasts one day. However, it is vicious and unrelenting. Last Friday, white boy and I went out with some dear friends. We had a great time...as always. I was on point. I was social and thoroughly enjoying myself. Just watching him play darts across the room, internally coveting his body next to mine knowing I was taking him home, had me excited. It was a great feeling. *one of my favorite parts of being married*
  I woke Saturday, laid sleepily next to him just enjoying the quietness of the early morning. I felt blissful. Till he woke up a few hours later. Instantly, I felt trapped. I wanted nothing more than to jump out of my skin. I felt the burning weight of the ring on my left hand and I wanted it gone. The whole thing. The whole concept: marriage. Gone.
  I scorned him well enough that he didn't follow me to Mass. I begged him, silently, to be gone from the house when I got home. Without words, I punished him for giving me the space I craved and needed. I wanted him to beg me to talk to him. I wanted, no, I needed him to grovel. He wasn't relenting. He sat there. Like a pillar of immovable strength, he sat there and did not give in to my antics.
  As the night came, I became less desirous of any emotion but apathy. It was my dinner and I ate freely. He did his nightly routine and went to bed. It was 2 hours before I laid down next to him, and I stared, in the darkness, at his unrelenting  body. And it came pouring out. "I don't know if I made the right decision to get married. I honestly don't think I am cut out for this. I do love you, but I feel...nothing. I didn't think I would feel so numb to you and us this quickly." Although spoken out loud, they fell on deaf ears. He slept, for the first time in our marriage, soundly... and I followed quickly after.
  I was a little hesitant the next morning. Afraid I would still feel the same numbness that overtook me the day before, I set my mind to business. He came in after mowing the yard: sweaty and hot. I said no words. I simply walked up and kissed him. It was okay. I was okay. My attack, my balancing hormonal act, had calmed. In that moment, I fell once more in love with him.
  How odd that night and this. As I lie here stroking his face as he sleeps I want nothing more than to be by his side till my lungs hold no more breath. He's mine and mine forever. I think we will adjust to the attack that is surely to come many more times and on many more occasions with no warning. I commend his strength and ability to calmly fight the me that is in battle mode. Dang it! I really like this guy!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...

A human mirror

  I look at myself, a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't think myself attractive for a long time. Now, I can look at myself even when someone else is in the bathroom. Before, I entered with head bowed and left the same. There are times when I look at myself 3 times before I leave. Most of the time, I focus on one aspect of myself: my eyes, my hair, my waist line, my clothes...something. I can see how this seems egotistical, but perhaps I am making up for lost mirror time.   However, I can only remember one time that I actually looked into the mirror to see something deeper than my outward appearance. And it scared me. I honestly didn't think it was possible to look into the mirror and truly see oneself. It always seemed so cliché. Until I did it.   That was 4 months ago. The moment I decided to walk away from a "relationship" that was nothing more than a confusing drag. It held me bound and clipped the wings I knew God had given me to f...

It's the underlying peace...

For some reason, dating my first boyfriend was hard. I was 21; he was 18. We were together for maybe 2 months. I am even reluctant to call him my boyfriend. Classic story of he wanted me; I was bored...voila. And not too long before I broke it off, I found myself in the sacristy talking to my then pastor. I was confused and hurt. I honestly can't even remember why. But he changed me that day.   He told me this: when he was discerning the priesthood two weeks prior to ordination, he struggled. He struggled so much he was beginning to believe his choice of vocation was wrong. His spiritual director at the time told him to pray. He told him to spend one solid week praying as though he was going to leave formation. Leaning all prayer toward that thought. Then, he told him to pray the next solid week as though he was going to stay and become the priest that he believed, at one point, he was supposed to be.   And as he prayed, he struggled. His mind wanted to wander and his desire...