Skip to main content

This moment

  There is this moment, somewhere between his second to last slowing breath and his first snore. I usually get a a few quiet, glorious moments of staring and touching. His face: so serene and calm. And on occasion, when I caress his right cheek, just before he sails off into dreamless sleep, he slightly will offer his left cheek for a graze.
  There is this moment, somewhere between him stripping down to his boxers and getting comfy in his chair. I beckon him with a look and he knows I want to stare. His body is for my eye's taking. I scour his every visible inch...if only for my memorization. And he quarter turns till I am done, and he doesn't flinch. It is for his health. For my pleasure.
  There is this moment, somewhere between his 4th and 5th drink. His eyes get that hungry stare. That one that can only be satiated with me. I get to kiss him. But not in the, "I love you too" way...but more in the, "I need you now" way. I mentally put away every dark blue-eyed glance. And he keeps coming back for more.
  There is this moment, somewhere between his 3rd or 4th night working 12 hour days. I am greeted with exhaustion and vulnerability. I get to comfort him. It's my arms he seeks and my lips he wants. But just for the reassurance that he is done acting some part that pays our bills. And, if I am unwilling or unable in a mental state to give him his comfort, he nudges up my chin with his head till he finds his solace.
  There is this moment, somewhere between tightening the 1st bolt and loosening the 4th. He gets this determined look of focus that means business. His bottom lips disappears into the top over and over as though his focus is only driven by the movement of his lips. And he works to complete the task at hand. And I get to watch. With bated breath, I watch the resolution come to fruition. He grew up fixing, and he often fixes us...or at least fixes my mood.
  There is this moment, somewhere between me moving my hand towards him and him grasping mine. The veins in his hands pulse with life that mean to me one thing: love...or care..or concern. Or perhaps all three. The callouses brush against mine and all he can say is how soft my hands are. He gives me comfort in the dryness and I him in the softness.
  These moments are mine. These moments are my favorite. And so grateful that I get relive them so very often. There is no one more magnificently able to love me. And not once have I been asked to be any different, nor flinch when I ask him to change. This is us learning. This is us loving. To not sound cliche but failing, I have the greatest lover that has ever existed.
  Think I'll go steal a few more moments...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The sun will come out...when?

   I could have really used the sun today. You know that feeling between being in an okay mood and being in a not so okay mood? Well, I am there. And, I know for a fact that the sun would have pushed me to the side of okay...or maybe even taken me to great. No sun today. Just grey, blah weather. I hate it! It makes me doubt things. It makes me create things in my mind. It makes me think of the demeantors breeding bad juju.    I need the sun. Today has been more of a blah day than I have experienced in a long while. The weather isn't just hazy, I have become haze. The weather isn't just dank. I have become dank. The weather isn't just cold. I have become cold. So much so that the phone I answer at work would better serve me if thrown through the window in front of me. So much so that the cell phone I keep in touch with my friends would better serve me if broken.     SAD: seasonal affective disorder. I think most people know what this is...

What is love? Baby, I'm hurting...I'm hurting...🎶🎶

  Early last week was bad for white boy. He was injured and is probably left with a broken foot. Now, he hasn't been to the doctor and continues to walk and work and do all the things. He continues to also piss me off because he hasn't gone. Granted, I tend to be stubborn too, but if that would have happened to me and my foot looked like that, I would have been at the doctor's office first thing in the morning.   Having said that, that is all I can think about in the back of my mind. How much he is in pain and how much it sucks. I can't fix it, but I can get irritated and semi-yell at him for not going to have it checked out. Guess that's how I cope. I love him, but damn is it frustrating.   Sometimes I wonder how people show love. Sometimes I wonder if people show love in grandiose ways or if the subtlety of love is what is true love. Sure, I mean when he proposed that was a good indicator that he loves me. When I said yes is also a good indicator that I love him...

3000 miles...

      ...and I am exhausted. Just a little over an hour and a half ago, I reached 3000 miles on my trip, and as I sit here in this hotel room, in Fort Stockton, TX, I am realizing how tired I am. Isn't vacation supposed to be refreshing and relaxing? Yet, I feel neither. I feel as though I am running on fumes, like my car was moments ago before I gave her a drink.       I spent that last hour thinking about all the things I have done, all the people I have seen, all the wonderful food I have eaten, and I realize I am so blessed. I have everything I need and all the love and support a person could ask for, and because of that, I am truly blessed.       It took everything in my power to turn on my computer and type this, so this post is uber short. But, I wanted to thank everyone, thus far, who has extended a gracious hand to host me and be there for me in just a manner to show me love. I love each and everyone of you. (I am sure this will no...