Skip to main content

What he means when he says, "I love you."

  You should have seen his face as he approached the canyon. It was endearing. It was as a 3 year old who has chocolate for the first time. It was as a 6 year old who catches a fish for the first time. The light in his eyes was something I won't ever forget. And he climbed. On everything he could. The rocks, the trees, the small cliffs were no match for him, and I just watched.
  Until he grabbed my hand and took me to a secluded spot. Until he snaked his arms around me. Until he asked me if I thought the canyon was beautiful. Until he told me he wanted me to know something. Until he told me he loved me. I watched.
  I watched until that moment when his nervous brow crinkled, his heart sped up, his mouth opened to bear his heart, and I became a key role in his life. Then it was like a 3 year old who has chocolate for the first time. Then it was like a 6 year old who catches a fish for the first time. The light in his eyes was something I will never forget.
  The ride down the mountain had me thinking...what is he meaning when he says he loves me. It means he likes me. It means he accepts my flaws. It means if he doesn't completely understand me he will try. It means that my realism (masked as negativity) is something he is willing to battle. It means that he supports me. It means that I matter. It means that he chose me. It means...us.
  And as we drove down that mountain he asked how it feels. "Right," was my answer. It feels right. I may not completely understand what love is, but I know it is sacrifice. And this boy has sacrificed. In fighting the battle for my heart he has sacrificed his own dignity to show me that I am worth pursuing. I think I am pretty lucky. I think that as I told him, "I love you too," It means I like him. It means I accept his flaws. It means if I don't completely understand him I will try. It means that his unfettered kindness (masked as my doormat) is something I am willing to embrace. It means that I support him. It means that he matters. It means that I chose him. It means...us.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The sun will come out...when?

   I could have really used the sun today. You know that feeling between being in an okay mood and being in a not so okay mood? Well, I am there. And, I know for a fact that the sun would have pushed me to the side of okay...or maybe even taken me to great. No sun today. Just grey, blah weather. I hate it! It makes me doubt things. It makes me create things in my mind. It makes me think of the demeantors breeding bad juju.    I need the sun. Today has been more of a blah day than I have experienced in a long while. The weather isn't just hazy, I have become haze. The weather isn't just dank. I have become dank. The weather isn't just cold. I have become cold. So much so that the phone I answer at work would better serve me if thrown through the window in front of me. So much so that the cell phone I keep in touch with my friends would better serve me if broken.     SAD: seasonal affective disorder. I think most people know what this is...

What is love? Baby, I'm hurting...I'm hurting...🎶🎶

  Early last week was bad for white boy. He was injured and is probably left with a broken foot. Now, he hasn't been to the doctor and continues to walk and work and do all the things. He continues to also piss me off because he hasn't gone. Granted, I tend to be stubborn too, but if that would have happened to me and my foot looked like that, I would have been at the doctor's office first thing in the morning.   Having said that, that is all I can think about in the back of my mind. How much he is in pain and how much it sucks. I can't fix it, but I can get irritated and semi-yell at him for not going to have it checked out. Guess that's how I cope. I love him, but damn is it frustrating.   Sometimes I wonder how people show love. Sometimes I wonder if people show love in grandiose ways or if the subtlety of love is what is true love. Sure, I mean when he proposed that was a good indicator that he loves me. When I said yes is also a good indicator that I love him...

3000 miles...

      ...and I am exhausted. Just a little over an hour and a half ago, I reached 3000 miles on my trip, and as I sit here in this hotel room, in Fort Stockton, TX, I am realizing how tired I am. Isn't vacation supposed to be refreshing and relaxing? Yet, I feel neither. I feel as though I am running on fumes, like my car was moments ago before I gave her a drink.       I spent that last hour thinking about all the things I have done, all the people I have seen, all the wonderful food I have eaten, and I realize I am so blessed. I have everything I need and all the love and support a person could ask for, and because of that, I am truly blessed.       It took everything in my power to turn on my computer and type this, so this post is uber short. But, I wanted to thank everyone, thus far, who has extended a gracious hand to host me and be there for me in just a manner to show me love. I love each and everyone of you. (I am sure this will no...