Skip to main content

What he means when he says, "I love you."

  You should have seen his face as he approached the canyon. It was endearing. It was as a 3 year old who has chocolate for the first time. It was as a 6 year old who catches a fish for the first time. The light in his eyes was something I won't ever forget. And he climbed. On everything he could. The rocks, the trees, the small cliffs were no match for him, and I just watched.
  Until he grabbed my hand and took me to a secluded spot. Until he snaked his arms around me. Until he asked me if I thought the canyon was beautiful. Until he told me he wanted me to know something. Until he told me he loved me. I watched.
  I watched until that moment when his nervous brow crinkled, his heart sped up, his mouth opened to bear his heart, and I became a key role in his life. Then it was like a 3 year old who has chocolate for the first time. Then it was like a 6 year old who catches a fish for the first time. The light in his eyes was something I will never forget.
  The ride down the mountain had me thinking...what is he meaning when he says he loves me. It means he likes me. It means he accepts my flaws. It means if he doesn't completely understand me he will try. It means that my realism (masked as negativity) is something he is willing to battle. It means that he supports me. It means that I matter. It means that he chose me. It means...us.
  And as we drove down that mountain he asked how it feels. "Right," was my answer. It feels right. I may not completely understand what love is, but I know it is sacrifice. And this boy has sacrificed. In fighting the battle for my heart he has sacrificed his own dignity to show me that I am worth pursuing. I think I am pretty lucky. I think that as I told him, "I love you too," It means I like him. It means I accept his flaws. It means if I don't completely understand him I will try. It means that his unfettered kindness (masked as my doormat) is something I am willing to embrace. It means that I support him. It means that he matters. It means that I chose him. It means...us.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...
Post a Comment
Read more

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...
Post a Comment
Read more