Recently, I have been thinking about this quote, "If your are not losing friends, then you aren't growing up." I have lost several friends as an adult. Some I thought would be around forever. I have gained some new ones that I wouldn't change for the old ones. And I have some friends that are just indelible marks on my heart; therefore, will never go away (for the good.)
But recently I have been thinking about the ones that are gone. One in particular. She happens to be the first friend I made when my family and I moved to Tulsa. I knew no one. I was the new kid at school. I had moved from a very very small school to a much larger school with the already slight inability to make friends easily. But, she accepted me.
After high school, we stayed in touch missing several beats when she went to law school and when she moved out of state...we just seemed to grow closer. We texted all the time. In fact, she was usually my good morning or good night text. Then one day... it ended. I know why, but it is still strange. Interestingly, there was no animosity (according to her) perhaps there was/is. Perhaps she still feels hurt. Who knows. It's like breaking up with your lover and then having to just exist with them no longer in your life.
She was such a constant for me. She was ALWAYS there for me. It was even more comfortable to go to her about personal issues than it was anyone else in my life. She was a source of strength when Mitchell ditched me, and a tower of freedom when Zain kicked my heart to the curb, and she was there when Julian shredded my emotions. The saddest part is that now that I have found Justin... I have not been able to share with her the most amazing thing that has happened to me.
It hurts. My heart hurts. I miss her. I want her back, but she is stubborn like me, and the texts, though few and far between, seem awkward and distant. I often think if she misses me as I do her. Who knows. Who the hell knows.
If you read this, I miss you. :'( and I love you mucho...
But recently I have been thinking about the ones that are gone. One in particular. She happens to be the first friend I made when my family and I moved to Tulsa. I knew no one. I was the new kid at school. I had moved from a very very small school to a much larger school with the already slight inability to make friends easily. But, she accepted me.
After high school, we stayed in touch missing several beats when she went to law school and when she moved out of state...we just seemed to grow closer. We texted all the time. In fact, she was usually my good morning or good night text. Then one day... it ended. I know why, but it is still strange. Interestingly, there was no animosity (according to her) perhaps there was/is. Perhaps she still feels hurt. Who knows. It's like breaking up with your lover and then having to just exist with them no longer in your life.
She was such a constant for me. She was ALWAYS there for me. It was even more comfortable to go to her about personal issues than it was anyone else in my life. She was a source of strength when Mitchell ditched me, and a tower of freedom when Zain kicked my heart to the curb, and she was there when Julian shredded my emotions. The saddest part is that now that I have found Justin... I have not been able to share with her the most amazing thing that has happened to me.
It hurts. My heart hurts. I miss her. I want her back, but she is stubborn like me, and the texts, though few and far between, seem awkward and distant. I often think if she misses me as I do her. Who knows. Who the hell knows.
If you read this, I miss you. :'( and I love you mucho...
Comments
Post a Comment