Skip to main content

My Peter Principle

 In 1968, Laurence Peter published the idea of the "Peter Principle." A term that most are aware of, but most don't equate to themselves. Laurence claims that, "In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence." He goes on to say that every position is then filled with incompetent people, and that the works is thus completed by those who are still competent.
  What happens when you realize you are literally being sky rocketed to that position? First of all...I am the worst at follow through. The worst. I work well under pressure, and I work best by procrastinating. However, if things are too hard...I don't have a problem walking. I have lots of unfinished projects. But, when my lively hood depends on not walking, what then?
  I found out long ago, that if you walk away from something it is harder to fail. You cease to have the ability to fail. You have to have something you are working on to fail. Walking eliminates that chance. I can't do that at work. I can't. I want to. So bad do I want to. After last week, I was done. Just done.
  I was talking with a co-worker this morning about my impending failure, and my boss walked up. He heard a little, and said..."You won't fail." Oh, what he doesn't know. No less than 5 times today has he come up to me and asked me if I was okay. The last time, I told him no. I told him he needed to stop asking me to do things I am going to royally fail at. I can't do it all. Granted, I sound like a whiny brat, and I hate that! I absolutely hate it. But I spent all weekend trying to calculate the date of my epic, impending failure.
  I didn't even want to look him in the eye, but I was clear as day when I said, "I will fail. I promise you I will, and I hate that. I hate that I have the future of dropping the ball." His response would make anyone happy or irritated. It made me irritated. "I ask a lot of you, Aly, because you are great at what you do." Ha! This makes me unhappy. I can't do it. And I am tired of people telling me that I won't fail because I am stronger than that, and I won't let it happen. If I know...I know. And. I. Know.
  I guess though it is more of how I deal with the fall or the fail. Will I be unable to be put back together? Or will I pick myself up and trudge on? I am hoping for the latter, but there is a lot of jobs and a lot of money riding on this failure. I could use prayers. I could use loads of them. I didn't think I would reach my "Peter Principle" so early in life. I thought I would have more time, but I guess some are meant to shine and some just burst into flames. At least I am aware...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Being his girlfriend

"Are you happy being my girlfriend?" He asks. In all seriousness. In all honesty. He asks. Never once have I been asked such a damned difficult question. Never once have I been asked that slight simple question. Never once have I been asked THAT question.   Immediately, my head goes a thousand different directions. I want to give him the most honest answer. But lately I feel as though I am trying to quantity my happiness. Yes. I. Am. Happy. But what is happiness? Am I? Can I honestly say that I am happy? I don't know.   Before I make an ass out of myself, I must say this: not one time in the history of Aly and men has she ever felt like her significant other was shelter. You know that line from Finding Nemo where Dory says to Marlin, "When I look at you, I remember. When I look at you, I am home." That's the way I feel when I am in his arms. Home. Perhaps it best not to tell him such a bold thought, but it's true.   Back to this question. Am I happy b...
3 comments
Read more

The Breath of Life

   "I c-c-c-can't stop shaking." "Oh, that is normal," he said as he looked down at me before he peered back over the blue medical sheet in front of my face. I couldn't. I just couldn't stop the incessant shaking. The moment of welcoming my son had played out in my head everyday for the last 10 months, and I promise, this was NOT it.   We arrived 30 hours prior, and my utopistic idea of induction had not come true.    "There are only a few reasons we would revert to a cesarean section... 1. He is under stress. 2. I am under stress. 3. He isn't progressing after some time, but chances are we won't get there."    So, after 22 hours of quite intense labor, I found myself being prepped for a c-section. I'll be the first to admit, my words of, "We will do what we have to do to have a healthy baby," seemed so far gone now. I wasn't sure emotionally how I had gotten this far, or even how I would get further.   "We are go...
1 comment
Read more