Skip to main content

My Peter Principle

 In 1968, Laurence Peter published the idea of the "Peter Principle." A term that most are aware of, but most don't equate to themselves. Laurence claims that, "In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence." He goes on to say that every position is then filled with incompetent people, and that the works is thus completed by those who are still competent.
  What happens when you realize you are literally being sky rocketed to that position? First of all...I am the worst at follow through. The worst. I work well under pressure, and I work best by procrastinating. However, if things are too hard...I don't have a problem walking. I have lots of unfinished projects. But, when my lively hood depends on not walking, what then?
  I found out long ago, that if you walk away from something it is harder to fail. You cease to have the ability to fail. You have to have something you are working on to fail. Walking eliminates that chance. I can't do that at work. I can't. I want to. So bad do I want to. After last week, I was done. Just done.
  I was talking with a co-worker this morning about my impending failure, and my boss walked up. He heard a little, and said..."You won't fail." Oh, what he doesn't know. No less than 5 times today has he come up to me and asked me if I was okay. The last time, I told him no. I told him he needed to stop asking me to do things I am going to royally fail at. I can't do it all. Granted, I sound like a whiny brat, and I hate that! I absolutely hate it. But I spent all weekend trying to calculate the date of my epic, impending failure.
  I didn't even want to look him in the eye, but I was clear as day when I said, "I will fail. I promise you I will, and I hate that. I hate that I have the future of dropping the ball." His response would make anyone happy or irritated. It made me irritated. "I ask a lot of you, Aly, because you are great at what you do." Ha! This makes me unhappy. I can't do it. And I am tired of people telling me that I won't fail because I am stronger than that, and I won't let it happen. If I know...I know. And. I. Know.
  I guess though it is more of how I deal with the fall or the fail. Will I be unable to be put back together? Or will I pick myself up and trudge on? I am hoping for the latter, but there is a lot of jobs and a lot of money riding on this failure. I could use prayers. I could use loads of them. I didn't think I would reach my "Peter Principle" so early in life. I thought I would have more time, but I guess some are meant to shine and some just burst into flames. At least I am aware...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...
Post a Comment
Read more

A human mirror

  I look at myself, a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't think myself attractive for a long time. Now, I can look at myself even when someone else is in the bathroom. Before, I entered with head bowed and left the same. There are times when I look at myself 3 times before I leave. Most of the time, I focus on one aspect of myself: my eyes, my hair, my waist line, my clothes...something. I can see how this seems egotistical, but perhaps I am making up for lost mirror time.   However, I can only remember one time that I actually looked into the mirror to see something deeper than my outward appearance. And it scared me. I honestly didn't think it was possible to look into the mirror and truly see oneself. It always seemed so cliché. Until I did it.   That was 4 months ago. The moment I decided to walk away from a "relationship" that was nothing more than a confusing drag. It held me bound and clipped the wings I knew God had given me to f...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's the underlying peace...

For some reason, dating my first boyfriend was hard. I was 21; he was 18. We were together for maybe 2 months. I am even reluctant to call him my boyfriend. Classic story of he wanted me; I was bored...voila. And not too long before I broke it off, I found myself in the sacristy talking to my then pastor. I was confused and hurt. I honestly can't even remember why. But he changed me that day.   He told me this: when he was discerning the priesthood two weeks prior to ordination, he struggled. He struggled so much he was beginning to believe his choice of vocation was wrong. His spiritual director at the time told him to pray. He told him to spend one solid week praying as though he was going to leave formation. Leaning all prayer toward that thought. Then, he told him to pray the next solid week as though he was going to stay and become the priest that he believed, at one point, he was supposed to be.   And as he prayed, he struggled. His mind wanted to wander and his desire...
Post a Comment
Read more