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My Peter Principle

 In 1968, Laurence Peter published the idea of the "Peter Principle." A term that most are aware of, but most don't equate to themselves. Laurence claims that, "In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence." He goes on to say that every position is then filled with incompetent people, and that the works is thus completed by those who are still competent.
  What happens when you realize you are literally being sky rocketed to that position? First of all...I am the worst at follow through. The worst. I work well under pressure, and I work best by procrastinating. However, if things are too hard...I don't have a problem walking. I have lots of unfinished projects. But, when my lively hood depends on not walking, what then?
  I found out long ago, that if you walk away from something it is harder to fail. You cease to have the ability to fail. You have to have something you are working on to fail. Walking eliminates that chance. I can't do that at work. I can't. I want to. So bad do I want to. After last week, I was done. Just done.
  I was talking with a co-worker this morning about my impending failure, and my boss walked up. He heard a little, and said..."You won't fail." Oh, what he doesn't know. No less than 5 times today has he come up to me and asked me if I was okay. The last time, I told him no. I told him he needed to stop asking me to do things I am going to royally fail at. I can't do it all. Granted, I sound like a whiny brat, and I hate that! I absolutely hate it. But I spent all weekend trying to calculate the date of my epic, impending failure.
  I didn't even want to look him in the eye, but I was clear as day when I said, "I will fail. I promise you I will, and I hate that. I hate that I have the future of dropping the ball." His response would make anyone happy or irritated. It made me irritated. "I ask a lot of you, Aly, because you are great at what you do." Ha! This makes me unhappy. I can't do it. And I am tired of people telling me that I won't fail because I am stronger than that, and I won't let it happen. If I know...I know. And. I. Know.
  I guess though it is more of how I deal with the fall or the fail. Will I be unable to be put back together? Or will I pick myself up and trudge on? I am hoping for the latter, but there is a lot of jobs and a lot of money riding on this failure. I could use prayers. I could use loads of them. I didn't think I would reach my "Peter Principle" so early in life. I thought I would have more time, but I guess some are meant to shine and some just burst into flames. At least I am aware...

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