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One year ago...for what greater good

  I sometimes enjoy the way Facebook reminds me of what I posted from years past. This year, at this time makes it a bit difficult since I am reminded more and more of Andy. But, this morning, as I opened up the "you have memories to look back on" notification, I read my blog post from this time last year. May 2nd, last year, I walked away from "the one my heart had fallen in love with." It was a pivotal moment in my life, not just because I was walking, but because more importantly, I was opening up myself for something better. I was walking away from pain and walking towards my true self.
  "I just want to be loved and love in return. It is the story in all of us. But, when do we decide who gets that love? I am amazed at how easy it is to find the 'love' we think we want..." Quite a poignant opening statement. I was in pain. I was completely ready for more. I just wasn't sure where to find it. I always knew I was meant for a greater good, and I always knew that greater good would involve someone. I just didn't know who.
  In the next several weeks, I will read blog posts about this white boy who was completely infatuated with me. He was someone who was trying to romance a girl who couldn't grasp the idea of romance. "I set out on this journey of 'whatever it costs' to see if I could sustain a sense of abandonment or enlightenment. What I have discovered is this: I am a woman on a journey. I am a woman on a journey who is not sure where the twists and turns will lead, but prays they lead to the deeper romance I desire."
  I honestly did not imagine in one year's time, I would go from complete abandon toward the will of God hoping for direction to entangled in the one who will devote himself fully too. God has brought me a romantic...one who believes in soul mate...one who believes in true unbridled devotion...one who tells me I am his world. For what geater good? For the chance to understand Christ's love for His Church. God didn't bring me someone perfect, but he brought me someone better than myself. For what greater good? To show grace.
  I know this is rambly, but I was so struck with my life and how far I have come in just one year. I am truly blessed. Truly...

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