Skip to main content

Stuck in the middle with you...

  I had never been so persued. I found it truly flattering, even though he was someone I would NEVER date. He was a country music listening, small town living, Budweiser drinking, persistent when I didn't want him to be young man, and I did NOT want to go have drinks with him. He bugged me about it for at least 3 months. Till I found myself single, independent, and carefree, I did not take him up on his offer. Until the night of June 3rd.
  One year ago, white boy and I went on our first outting. If you ask me, it was a hang out. If you ask him, it was a date. Looking back, I am acquiesced to both. It was a hang out that turned into a date. And it started me on a long path to self discovery, painful healing, and falling in love with the man who makes me a better woman.
  He had taken me to the casino. It wasn't the first time I had been there, and although it was not my cup of tea, I was having a great time. Don't tell him, but mainly because I caught him staring at me so often. You should have seen him. He was so smitten! I had never felt so gracefully adored. It was cute, and I ran with it. Although I knew this man liked me, I explicitly informed him I was NOT interested in being in a relationship with anyone. I told him I would probably not date him, but hanging out with him as friends was certainly not out of the question. He was nice enough.
  Then I kissed him. Why? Chalk it up to curiosity and booze. I was leaning against the chair of man who couldn't stop staring and on more than one occasion that night told me, "You're just so beautiful." **flattery got him somewhere** So, naturally, I kissed him. Because I could. The moment I did, I thought back to my co-worker's last words before I left for the evening, "Don't hurt him, Aly. He's a great guy." It wasn't that it was my intention to hurt him, I just knew that at one point...I would. It was an inevitable fact.
  Then he kissed me back. Over and over we kissed. We held each other's hand and walked through the casino. Immediately, his chest was more puffed out and his ego blew up. It was as though he was escorting the Queen of Sheba. But it was me. Just me. It was an honor and a scare. I didn't know how hooked I would get to this man. I didn't know that one year from then I would be wearing a ring that pledges my love to him and his to me. I didn't know then that in 2 year's time I would be walking down the isle.
  Here we are... in the middle. One year ago we had our first outing. One year from now we will have our wedding. It is such an honor to be stuck in the middle with this man, and I grow more deeply in love with him. He makes me super sappy, and although it is much easier to admit it on here than it is in person, it is simply truth.
  Baby bee, here is to many many more June 3rds. I do hope I never get unstuck from you. Be blessed as I am. And know that I love you more than I truly thought I was capable of... :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...

A human mirror

  I look at myself, a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't think myself attractive for a long time. Now, I can look at myself even when someone else is in the bathroom. Before, I entered with head bowed and left the same. There are times when I look at myself 3 times before I leave. Most of the time, I focus on one aspect of myself: my eyes, my hair, my waist line, my clothes...something. I can see how this seems egotistical, but perhaps I am making up for lost mirror time.   However, I can only remember one time that I actually looked into the mirror to see something deeper than my outward appearance. And it scared me. I honestly didn't think it was possible to look into the mirror and truly see oneself. It always seemed so cliché. Until I did it.   That was 4 months ago. The moment I decided to walk away from a "relationship" that was nothing more than a confusing drag. It held me bound and clipped the wings I knew God had given me to f...

It's the underlying peace...

For some reason, dating my first boyfriend was hard. I was 21; he was 18. We were together for maybe 2 months. I am even reluctant to call him my boyfriend. Classic story of he wanted me; I was bored...voila. And not too long before I broke it off, I found myself in the sacristy talking to my then pastor. I was confused and hurt. I honestly can't even remember why. But he changed me that day.   He told me this: when he was discerning the priesthood two weeks prior to ordination, he struggled. He struggled so much he was beginning to believe his choice of vocation was wrong. His spiritual director at the time told him to pray. He told him to spend one solid week praying as though he was going to leave formation. Leaning all prayer toward that thought. Then, he told him to pray the next solid week as though he was going to stay and become the priest that he believed, at one point, he was supposed to be.   And as he prayed, he struggled. His mind wanted to wander and his desire...