"Getting older's not been on my plans"

  This day last year was hell. Just hell. I had been betrayed by someone I thought I loved, and while trying to wade through the pain, I was denying myself the ability to heal. That seems so long ago.   This year, for the Christmas holiday, I am delightfully happy. And while trying to not put so much pressure on one person for that happiness, I would be remiss if I didn't.   This holiday started, last weekend at my cousin's wedding in Kansas City. After a few days of work, on Wednesday, there was a great family Christmas cookout. Thursday it continued with a fun day with my family eating, fellowshipping, and playing games. It went into the late hours with Mass at my favorite church in the world, and today it kept going with a relaxing Christmas afternoon of more food and good company.   And throughout this entire season there has been one underlying thought: this is nothing like last year. This is nothing like the last 5 years. This is nothing like any other year....

  I asked him a simple question: "what's your biggest fear concerning us?" He couldn't answer, although I know he has at least one. We were driving this morning when I asked, and the thought popped into my head in a continuation of the conversation we had the night before. I told him that there is a small but significant part of me that worries one day he'll decide he's done. For whatever reason, one day he will walk.   But I guess in broad daylight he couldn't figure out his biggest fear. I think his answer was something about kids or something I couldn't assuage. That was my goal, anyway, in asking. Goal diverted.   He came to tuck me in, and tell me what he had just spent the last 2 hours talking to my cousin about: "you," he said. "How much I love you. How much I want to be with you forever. You're independent spirit, how I'll said you'll change." I internally bristled. I am proud of my independent spirit. "Oh...

  My boss is very passionate about work/life balance. To him, the two must be maintained or one will fail. For me, someone who likes to work a lot and socialize the same amount, I feel as though I have a good grasp on this concept.   I recently got a laptop at work to make my job easier. I was surprised how much easier it has become. When I was pulled into my boss's office last week, I made the mistake of telling him I had taken some work home. I was immediately told not to do that again. To him, I was going against the very nature of work/life balance. To me, I loved the idea of doing work comfortably on the couch in front of the TV.   As I was conveying to a co-worker how much I liked the idea, she spoke vehemently against it...just like my boss. Difference is I don't have a family that would be affected. Anyway...   This afternoon, our director of production was walked out. Gone. Just in an instant. One moment he was berating me, in jest, for not liking bread p...

  While visiting my family in Arizona, a month back, I got asked this question: are you friends? While sitting next to him on the couch, I got told this statement: you're my best friend. Growing up, I always had at least one best friend. To this day, I could name at least 4 people I consider to be my best friends. But, they all have something in common...they are all very romantically involved with someone. Two are married, one will be shortly and the other has been in a long term relationship.   I always believed that when you are in a relationship it is best to be friends first then lovers second. But I never thought I would truly understand that concept. Honestly, being best friends meant time. Being best friends meant that memories from long past had to sustain you. It was never a connection issue. It was time. How wrong I have been.   Of the 4 people I consider to be besties, I have known them all over 9 years. So I have the time. And over that time memories have b...

  My family has never been too big on holidays. Sure, we would go here or go there. We would usually be traveling to a family member's house for a meal and fellowship, but it was still not something that ever gave me warm and fuzzies. The most warm and fuzzies I ever got was sitting around the Christmas tree with my mom, my dad, and my brother opening gifts.   There was always one common thread: us 4. 5 years ago, that changed drastically. Since then, holidays have meant very little. So much that last year I spent Christmas at home by myself. I was fine. Little did I know that I would be cheated on ending up spending it in tears. The past is in the past. What I mean is this: Golden Coral has been a Thanksgiving or Christmas norm for me and my family for awhile.    I haven't looked forward to the holiday season in what seems like forever. This year...this year is different. For the first time, in such a long time, I am happy about the up coming season. I am eager ...

  I used to be non-denominational. I am now Catholic. I used to be pro-capital punishment. I am now anti-capital punishment. I have always been pro-life. And I have usually always been put in a pretty little political box. However, there is no such thing. The bombings around the world, the refugees, the fight for women's rights, the fight for equal pay for women, the fight for all genders, sexes and races...none of it fits into a pretty little political box.   No one likes to be mislabeled. If that is the case, and it is, then why can't we stop? I saw on Facebook, yesterday, a post by an acquaintance that spoke of her surprise of someone she didn't think would be for the acceptance of refugees was and someone she thought would be for it was opposed. Her next comment was ridiculous. It was along the lines of, "And most of the time I am right about these kinds of things."   Hold up. Just hold up. I get that people can be predictable, but I also get that people can...

  It was a year ago this week I got a call while sorting out pee at the peepee palace. I had been told of a job as a receptionist that would pay 2 dollars more than I was currently making. However, it was temporary and started the next day. I was hesitant and reluctant, but I said yes.   A year later, I have moved from receptionist to customer service and have enjoyed every painstaking and agonizing moment of angry customers and the happiness and friendships that have planted and blossomed as well.   Most people who know me know that I started my masters this past August. It has been a good learning experience and I have enjoyed it. It was a means to further my knowledge of the Church and the RCIA program. It was a great idea, at the time, because more than anything I wanted to be involved with this program and get paid to teach Catholic doctrine.   But...things have changed. I have changed. I have for the first time in my work history I have been challenged. Work...