Skip to main content

A multitude of thanks

   When I am in the midst of something, I sometimes forget how fleeting moments really are. This day, last year, I was letting go of someone to make room for someone else. How times change. And, through that change, what wonderful things I have found.
   Today, is thanksgiving. A day in which we acknowledge what we are thankful for, or are at least a bit more mindful, as we should be thankful everyday. I have noticed people on Facebook do the 30 days of thanks throughout the month of November. I have decided that mine would all culminate today: the day of thanks.
   1.) The mercy of God--I realize so much more everyday how human I truly am. I am more aware than I ever have been of the faultiness of my walk on this earth. There are moments when I take a moment to look at myself and my world, and I can't help but think that I am a true failure. But what hope I have in that thought. By the mercy of God, I am redeemed of my humanity.
   2.) My parents--what interesting and fascinating people. I know that might sound a bit harsh, but if you ever have the opportunity (which is impossible) to be their child, then you would realize just of what I speak. My parents are amazing people. Never have I encountered people more selfless than them. Everyday I see them grow and shine in the beauty of God's love. I am so blessed to be here, on this earth, as their daughter. I love them dearly!
   3.) My family--I could write out each member of my family, but I won't. I won't because they all mean the same thing to me: love, support, generosity, and familiarity. They always say you can't pick your family, but if given the chance, I wouldn't choose anyone else. This family has its ups and downs. This family is messed up. This family is kooky. This family is strange. This family is fun. This family is one of a kind. This family...is mine. And I am so lucky to be a part of it.
   4.) My friends--Unlike our family, we can pick our friends, and I sometimes wonder if I picked them...or they picked me. Prolly the latter, but I think that through the years, I have been given the most perfect friends for the situations and circumstances that I have encountered in my life. The moment I lost my brother, I found complete solace in my friends. They were my strong foundation of which I stood. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have survived. And slowly, they have allowed me to spread my wings and step out into the dark and test my wings. I soar because of them...but I know that if and when I fall, they will be there to pick me up.
  5.) My dog--I heard a joke once, "What's the difference between a woman and a dog?" "A dog will still love you after being locked in the trunk for 9 hours." Okay, dumb and bad joke. But the reason why I have always loved this joke is because the unconditional love of my dog toward me. It is a completely foreign concept that I will never mentally grasp, but never once does Dutch cease to love me unconditionally.
   6.) My job--This year I was given the opportunity to become the director of the RCIA program at my church. At 29, I didn't think I would achieve my dream job so early in life. I never thought God would deem me ready to partake in the magic that is the Catholic Church and be a beacon for Him in his world.
   7.) The colorblind boy--I think that God puts people in our lives to teach us certain things, or perhaps He puts us in people's lives to teach them things. For whatever reason, or for however long He chose to put this particular boy in my life, I am thankful. It takes a great deal to deal with my ups and downs and those times when I want to rip the world apart because I can't figure out the hurricane going on inside my mind. It takes a great deal to just deal. I am learning trust and patience. I am learning love and sacrifice. I am learning honesty and vulnerability. But above all...I am learning how to love in the moment.
   So many more things in my life I have thanks for. So many more moments that I wish I could share with the world, but I have learned another thing...it is a shame to keep all thanks bottled up for one day a year. Thanks is something we must do everyday. I'm gonna try that...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...

A human mirror

  I look at myself, a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't think myself attractive for a long time. Now, I can look at myself even when someone else is in the bathroom. Before, I entered with head bowed and left the same. There are times when I look at myself 3 times before I leave. Most of the time, I focus on one aspect of myself: my eyes, my hair, my waist line, my clothes...something. I can see how this seems egotistical, but perhaps I am making up for lost mirror time.   However, I can only remember one time that I actually looked into the mirror to see something deeper than my outward appearance. And it scared me. I honestly didn't think it was possible to look into the mirror and truly see oneself. It always seemed so cliché. Until I did it.   That was 4 months ago. The moment I decided to walk away from a "relationship" that was nothing more than a confusing drag. It held me bound and clipped the wings I knew God had given me to f...

79 days and a canker sore

  I haven't written in what seems like forever. I think of something I want to say then sleep takes over, or it is time to get out of the shower. But, I figure I should. So many thoughts...so little time. Today marks 79 days till I am no longer able to mark the "singles" box on any for I fill out. Today marks 79 days till I am no longer a Dever. Today...tomorrow...forever...   I don't stress often. Or at least, I don't feel as though I do. I often feel more overwhelmed but not necessarily stressed. I always thought I handled stress well. In fact, I took a test once that was measuring stress levels. I remember answering... yes to a death (my brother) job change (fired and new job) life change (went back to school) traveling (long vacation) all within a 6 month period. The test concluded that I was stressed to the max. I specifically remember taking this test on the toilet, and thinking... huh... I don't feel it.   However, the older I get, I tend to listen to...