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Entitlement

   I think one of the most beautiful things about being a human being is the idea of entitlement. I know the word is usually used for people of higher monetary standing and pretentiousness, but the fact still remains that all humans are entitled. All humans...both the thief and the owner, both the student and the teacher, both the rapist and the victim, both the logger and the activist. All humans. All humans are entitled to their feelings and emotions. 
   I used extreme examples, because I believe it is important to allow everyone to feel and think what they do. It was Voltaire who said, "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it." This goes for all. I lastly talked about disconnect and the art of sucking at communication, and I think this goes hand in hand. Sometimes, when I get upset or angry or sad or any other emotion, I expect the world to acknowledge and fix me. Yeah, yeah...talk about entitlement! But, I am learning and will continue to learn that the world owes me nothing. But when I feel an emotion, I feel it, and I mentally engage with that emotion. Sometimes so much that I have talked up a mountain from a molehill. 
   However, I have more often than not, allowed the other person/people involved to feel the same or different emotion. I learned once that we are only responsible for our reactions. A reaction is an action to something: a thought, a word, a person, a place...in essence a noun. And we are only responsible for the action we take against that other action. We can't control anyone else but ourselves, and the quicker we learn this (the quicker I learn this) the better off we (I) will be. 
   My entitlement is this: I deserve to feel any emotion I want at any time that I want. And so are you. If I feel hurt because of you, okay, so I feel hurt. But then you are more than entitled to be hurt because of something that I say or do. *whispers* this is the part that I am learning...I just assumed I couldn't hurt anyone. How false that is. I have just as much power to hurt as anyone else. I just hate knowing that I hurt someone. It drives me nuts!
   I do this thing...where if I am hurt by someone I will tell them, then once I have told them, I try to downplay the who incident as though it wasn't a big deal. Apparently it was a big deal, because it bothered me. But, once I have aired my grievance...I wish to pretend it never happened. I am learning that I am entitled to be hurt or sad. But I have no right to lash out and make someone else hurt because of my own pain.
   That's my lesson for today, and tomorrow, and the next day...and forever

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