Skip to main content

Dehumanizing my savior

  If you can say that you haven't sat in front of someone who cares deeply for you and with a straight face tell them you haven't consciously disregarded them as a human being for your own self-interest, you are a better person than me. It is a despicable thing, and I did it. In that moment of disregard, I carried no remorse.
  Now, if you can say that you haven't had to look that person in the eye and apologize knowing your words are only a fraction of the guilt you felt, then you were saved severe embarrassment. Sometimes, I wonder how anyone could consider me a decent human being.
  I could say that for my own self-defense that I acted as a scared little child. But even so, that is a very low thing to do. So far, in this relationship, I have spent more time fighting against my own heart and soul. And as I sat across from him it all began to make sense. I have never been truly happy in any relationship. In fact, I am not sure I understand what that word means when it comes to being in a relationship. I am learning. Truly, I am.
  The most humbling thing I experienced this week: after telling him this heinous truth, he slightly bowed his head and said, "You pretended that I didn't have feelings." Yes. Yes I did. "Why?" Was his response... "To make you run." I admire this man. He puts up with more attitude than gratitude. He endures more pain than gain. And his response: "But I am still here, and I am not going anywhere." Talk about a large plate of humble pie. I was full by the time the evening came to a close.
  I am learning in this world what true self-worth really is. I am learning what true friendship really is. I am learning what true goodness really is. And he has taught me a great deal of that. I call him my savior, not to negate my True Savior, but to call attention to the very nature of his personhood. He treats me, an at times truly despicable person, with what he thinks I deserve: happiness and care and honesty and pure respect. I could ask for nothing more.
  I am not deserving of his heart, but he thinks I am. I am not deserving of his time, but he thinks I am. I am not deserving of his concern, but he thinks I am. I am not deserving, but he thinks I am. And that makes me believe that perhaps I might be. Thank you white boy. For you. Thank you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...