Skip to main content

The unemotional woman...in your life

I read an article yesterday that spoke too true about me. The title"18 Things You Should Know About the Emotionally Unavailable Woman in Your Life." I am not quite sure why I was drawn to read this, but 18 things wasn't that many, so I decided to check it out. Not quite sure if I am glad I did. Or, maybe I am.


1. She will put her career and goals before love interests.
    I don't know if this is fully true. I have always found it easier to focus on work and other activities than it is to focus on any sort of love interest. When it comes to work, work doesn't judge you or compare you to other work. Call it a self-preservation thing.


2. She will definitely leave you if you interfere with her ultimate life goals.
    Uh... yeah. This is actually true. I have done it before, and I can't say that I wouldn't do it again. I guess it is best to find someone who lines up with your ultimate goals.


3. She wants it all. And she will get it.
    Yup, yup, and yup.


4. She is not needy.
    This is also true. I find it difficult to accept things from other people. I find it hard to accept help when there is no one else to benefit than myself.


5. She will never rely on anybody other than herself to get what she wants.
    Okay, I know...I am sounding cold and hard and completely ridiculous, but it is just easier to do things for myself. I would rather have someone help me by helping someone else than help me.


6. But she is not a straight-edge, boring Katherine-Heigl-In-Every-Rom-Com character.
    I do find myself social. I am social. I love being social. Sound contradictory? It is...


7. So there is no need for Gerard Butler to swoop in.
    This is true. I don't need a knight in shining armour. I don't need anyone to save me from my lifestyle or the way I live. I like the way I live. :)


8. You might think she is cold and heartless, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
     Meaning, I don't show all emotion, and don't like to be forced. I fully express myself when I feel the need and the desire.


9.  She can fall in love. She flip flops on the idea of becoming a wife and mother.
     I think this is the one the white boy was glad to read. I could see him shaking a little 'til he got to this one. Yes, I can fall in love. And, I thought I sorta had once, but perhaps I hadn't. Yes, I also flip flop on marriage and motherhood. I don't see those things ever defining me. I see them as addendums to my current lifestyle.


10. She is not a heartless robot.
      The second part of this is that she is emotionally unavailable to most, but to a few select she is open. That is a good definition of me. I am social, but I am also not truly invested in many.


11. Her methods of expressing affection are a little different from what you're accustomed to.
      I am not great at making my emotions known or expressed. I tend to hold them in. It is what I am good at. My default.


12. She feels discomfort being gushy and mushy.
      This is somewhat true. The rest of that statement is that when she says something out of character and emotional, it means a lot more than any grandiose gesture. This is true. Hands down. I may not say a lot...but what I say I truly mean.


13. She lives off of the happiness she gest from succeeding at what she wants.
      Yes, yes and yes.


14. On the other hand, failing is incredibly difficult for her.
      So much so, that I don't tend to do things I will fail at. Or, I change my approach from the very beginning so I won't invest too much so that much isn't lost.


15. She places a lot of significance and importance on her own, individual self-worth.
      A million times yes. I don't think I could any more to this.


16. She is skeptical of other.
      Sure. Perhaps. Maybe. Probably.


17. She prefers listening instead of talking.
      Again, this is just flat true. I like to talk...I like to talk to myself. But, I find it easier to listen than to talk.


18. But, if listening leads her to realize you're not worth her trust, she has zero problem leaving.
      Ah...yes. This is true. If we teach our kids to not be dicked around by those who show no respect, than why would this statement be something to guffaw at?


This is me. Or, at least a good indication of myself. I take pride in a lot of these. Some, I am working on. Some, I hope to never lose.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...