It amazes me when things happen or show up that weren't there before. It's like when your arm is cold or numb and as it warms up or starts to wake up you get that tingly feeling. It's the one that tells you blood (or life) has started circulating again.
I have heard that when you kiss someone, for the first time, if you don't get that tingly feeling then you obviously aren't with the right one. Personally, I tend to think that's bunk. I have a hard time believing in love at first sight and even more so tinglies at first kiss.
But, as I held him, or more like he held me tonight, I got that tingly feeling. I got that feeling of life coursing out from my heart to the depths of me. It was a small shocking moment. I wonder if he noticed that I hugged him a bit tighter or I whispered "don't leave" into his bare chest. But, if he did feel it or did hear it his response, as in the past, is to cling tighter and whisper back: "never."
The thawing of me is still a bit overwhelming. As I drove home, I thought how blessed I am to finally be in a healthy relationship. How blessed I am to finally have someone who doesn't just want me but doesn't want to let me go.
As I pulled away from the kiss, with my eyes closed, I basked for a moment in that life feeling. I didn't want to open my eyes in fear it was made up. But his arm snaked around my middle and I slipped open an eye to see him lovingly looking down on me as though Christmas had come early. I like that look. I like that look very much. I could get very used to that look.
For the last several days away from white boy, I have begun to realize that driving across town for that look for that comfort for that life tingle is becoming more and more of a simple task I could do for a long while.
I don't know much in life. I don't quite have my future locked down. But I do know one thing: being wrapped up in him with my frozen heart coming back to life has been a more of a blessing that he may ever know. Because as painful as it is to have your arm fall asleep or your body freezing cold, the tinglies that bring you back to normalcy is a wonderful feeling.
I have heard that when you kiss someone, for the first time, if you don't get that tingly feeling then you obviously aren't with the right one. Personally, I tend to think that's bunk. I have a hard time believing in love at first sight and even more so tinglies at first kiss.
But, as I held him, or more like he held me tonight, I got that tingly feeling. I got that feeling of life coursing out from my heart to the depths of me. It was a small shocking moment. I wonder if he noticed that I hugged him a bit tighter or I whispered "don't leave" into his bare chest. But, if he did feel it or did hear it his response, as in the past, is to cling tighter and whisper back: "never."
The thawing of me is still a bit overwhelming. As I drove home, I thought how blessed I am to finally be in a healthy relationship. How blessed I am to finally have someone who doesn't just want me but doesn't want to let me go.
As I pulled away from the kiss, with my eyes closed, I basked for a moment in that life feeling. I didn't want to open my eyes in fear it was made up. But his arm snaked around my middle and I slipped open an eye to see him lovingly looking down on me as though Christmas had come early. I like that look. I like that look very much. I could get very used to that look.
For the last several days away from white boy, I have begun to realize that driving across town for that look for that comfort for that life tingle is becoming more and more of a simple task I could do for a long while.
I don't know much in life. I don't quite have my future locked down. But I do know one thing: being wrapped up in him with my frozen heart coming back to life has been a more of a blessing that he may ever know. Because as painful as it is to have your arm fall asleep or your body freezing cold, the tinglies that bring you back to normalcy is a wonderful feeling.
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