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It is what it is

    Although I find myself saying this often, it doesn't mean I like it. At the end of the day, when all you can say is, "It is what it is," it almost seems as if you  (one/me) is copping out of the grander explanation. There aren't always times when we can give a definitive answer to something, but just to always comment "it is what it is" doesn't make things better.
    I understand that things are as they are. For whatever reason, they are...but I still feel sometimes as though those things can change. My problem: I assume it can all change...not just me. How wrong I really am. I can change no one but myself. I can change no situation but the one I am in. I am in charge of only one change...my own.
    So, why is it so difficult? Why can't I see the world for what it is and except it? Because! I want things the way I want them. And I don't want it any other way. I want them to stay that way forever.
     Uh oh...I just vomited pride all over the place. If I could put an emoji of a downcast face this would be the perfect place.
     Wanna know a secret? I realize how powerless I am, and I still can't figure out how to deal.
     It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is.
     Maybe if I repeat this mantra I will be able to bury it in my heart. The brain says, "GET IT ALREADY!" The heart whispers, "I'm trying." And I am...trying. It is just going to take some time. Time I have apparently. I mean I don’t see God taking me home at the moment. If we are all here to learn and grow, and I do believe that we are, then I have time.
     I need patience though. The heart is strong. The heart has been pierced, but it is resilient. It loves like a child, and gets hurt as one too. It battles with the adult logical brain and seems to win out every time. Perhaps it is a me thing. Perhaps it is a human thing. Perhaps it is both.
     It is what it is...I want to change that. "It will be what God plans it to be." I think I can handle that reality a bit better. I know that I am destined. For greatness? Perhaps...but perhaps for just a moment in time. However, I know that whatever "it" is is not something I fully wrap my mind around. For now, I will stick to just repeating, "I am here...I am alive...I am blessed."
     The Jesus prayer helps too: Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner... it is what it is... Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner... it is what it is... Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner... it is what--

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