Skip to main content

Redefining reality

    "When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, 'plot twist,' and move on." I really like this quote. I have put it on the front of my phone off and on for a few years. I usually resurrect it when something in my life isn't going exactly according to my plan. Which...happens enough. And, even though this quote makes it seem much easier than it is, it is always a helpful reminder of the way life tends to go on even when we can't imagine that it could.
     I have been struck with a very redefining week. I had a reality and now...through certain circumstances, I am readjusting. But the one thing different about this time compared to last: I am not readjusting alone. I not only have my family and friends but also the very person who is intimately tied to my plot twist. And I am finding it to be a different sort of adjustment.
    I think I am growing up. :) I think that I am learning the ways of this world a bit more than I have before. I think I am experiencing the beauty of graceful humanness. I was talking to the ex the other day about my sudden plot twist, and I said, "All I want is for someone who wants to fight along side me." His response: that's all I want too, Aly. The funny thing was was that was the last thing he granted me.
    So, I think I get it. I'm not supposed to be with every man I date or fall for or care for. The difference this time: I won't go for being alone in this readjustment. I refused to allow this person to walk away from me. But, the beauty of it too: this person doesn't want to walk away.
    I spent a great conversation on the phone this evening with him...the conclusion: we fight and we readjust. It sucks, but it is a must. It is what we must do to retain any form of relationship. The problem: in the end...readjustment sucks. I'm also kind of terrible at it. I'm just thankful I'm not having to do it alone.

Comments

  1. ChristieDecember 27, 2014 at 11:49 PM

    I love the term "plot twist"!! I pray for you and all your dreams that you so daringly write :-)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...
Post a Comment
Read more

A goodbye love letter to you...

  I sat across from my dad at lunch, yesterday, and asked him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" He said, "Yeah. 1 year." And his eyes grew damp. "I'll never forget walking into that room..." He didn't continue. I didn't ask him to. "I'll never forget the police officer banging on my door at 1130 at night..." I didn't continue. He didn't ask me to.  "This journal was given to me several years ago by my children. I know they wanted me to write down my thoughts to get through the rough times I was going through at the time. I did not start this at that time. Why am I starting it now? Well, I only thought I had been through hell back then, but now I realize I didn't have any idea what heartache was until Aug 15, 2010 -"   This is the beginning of one of my mother's journals. A journal she started a little over a month after Andy died. And she wrote it--to him.  "Dear Mother - Today is the day before Mothe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Arithmetic of Purpose

   By nature, humans will, at one point in their life, ask the question, "For what purpose? Why am I here? What am I meant to do?" Okay, maybe they will ask themselves more than 1 question...but at least around the same theme. "Who am I, and why am I here?" It is built in our very DNA. Growing up, I didn't ask this often. I had a loving family who went with the current. Who I was and why I was here was bound up in my place in my family of 4. I was comfy. I was loved. I was secure. But alas...the question presented itself.   I first asked myself this question walking down the streets of Rome. I was alone, I was 21, and I was lost. I had just finished AmeriCorps and felt like I wanted something, but wasn't sure what that was. I had found my faith, at last, and realized that perhaps I wanted to be a bigger part of the Church collective. I felt meaning to my nothingness. I went home with direction. I graduated from college, finally, and started grad school to be...
Post a Comment
Read more