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It's just right

   "Interact with others as though you are radiating happiness and healing from within." This quote by Franklin Gillette has been running through me for 4 days. I have meditated on it, spoken it, breathed it, chewed on it, drank it...and tried to fully embrace the simplicity of it. 
    I was talking with a co-worker yesterday about being a state of "fake" happiness. And, when she told me that in conjunction with the relationship I was having with Zain, I knew I didn't have to be fake happy. I was happy. I am happy. I hate pretending because I suck at it. I hate pretending because it only makes things worse. I hate pretending because it is "the game." I didn't have to make something up in conjunction with the brown one because at the end of the day...he makes me happy.
    Driving across town, parking behind the little cafe, walking against the wind, waiting for him to walk in, then laying eyes on him...peace. My peace met his defense. To be honest, it sucked! But, I know him. I know me. I knew that given a little time and a little honesty we could work things out. "I am surprised I am here. It took a lot of courage for me to see you. I normally just erase and pretend that the pain didn't happen." He does what I do. He erases the pain to forget and pretend.
    ...and then, with our #airofgrievances out of the way--we began to mend. The light in his eyes shone brighter, he was able to look at me and see me for what I was...his friend. And for the first time in a week...I smiled. I smiled from the deepest part of my heart.
    I couldn't have walked away any happier from that moment. I couldn't have walked away from him having him distrust me or hate me or desire to shut me out. And, I certainly couldn't have walked away feeling broken in two. 

   So, for the first time since last Monday, I feel a tinge of the Christmas spirit. I am ready to enjoy myself, enjoy my friends, and enjoy the truth in knowing that peace has truly come on earth.

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