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Not the next CEO

  I think that to be disappointed because I don’t get a job I wasn’t even remotely prepared for is just stupid...and completely human nature. So, how do I overcome the nature of this humanness? Ugh! I think what is most disappointing is the fact that hype happens, with others and with me, which allowed me and others to get anticipatory…
   But then the anticipation gets thrown on the wall like a ball of gak just to be watched as it slides down the wall in a disgusting heap on the floor. The difference between me and that ball of gak is the reality that I have potential. I do have what it takes to be something great, but sometimes I feel like the world sees me as gak: a sloppy, slimy, goopy mess. Until I actually talk to someone who thinks of me differently.
   I swear...in the last 30 minutes, I have felt a gambit of emotions that I need to just swish away. I need to take a deep breath; I need to realize that somethings in life just aren’t going to happen; I need to realize that I am too dramatic at times. I think that maybe my saving grace is knowing that I can be dramatic about certain things...and before they blow up or become a big deal, I let them go.
   I was told by a close friend today that I make big things out of small things. I told this person they were my sounding board...nothing more nothing less. Well, they do mean more to me, but that wasn’t/isn’t the issue. The issue is simply that I can sound off in my emotions but it is quick and easily dealt with on my own, all it usually takes is a moment to comprehend a new path (apart from what I wanted or imagined) and just accept it.
   But sometimes...just a little swearing is what I really need to do. I’ll wait til I am off work for that.

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