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Faith...

   My brother always told me that we will at any given point in our lives have a crisis. And in those crises they will manifest themselves in one of three ways...faith, hope, or love. He told me that even when we think we are out of the woods with the crisis we will encounter another, and when we think that we have one figured out and we are on to the next, it may come up years later.
   Faith...I think that we all have this crisis. I was raised in a Christian home, going to church on a very consistent basis: Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. There was never a question where my family was at these times. My family has always been connected with the ministry in some form or fashion. It was what it was...I knew nothing different.
   But as I grew up, I began to question my Christianity and my faith. I remember having this very distinct thought walking down the halls of the American Red Cross, "I don't think that a non-Christian would listen to Christian music and enjoy it as much as I do...so I must be a Christian." I couldn't define it for myself. I knew what I was raised with; I knew what my parents taught me; I knew the core beliefs, and could even quote many a scripture, but I still didn't know what it meant for me.
   Then...Andy decided he wanted to become Catholic. Holy crap!! What?! I couldn't even begin to fathom something so outlandish and crazy. I had heard of Catholics and the backwoods methods of their faith. I knew that I was never going to believe what they did or be okay with his decision, and I certainly was never going to become one. However...something happened.
    When I went to work with the American Red Cross during Hurricane Katrina, I remember visibly struggling with my faith. I remember telling friends and people I would meet about God and what I thought I believed, but I couldn't reconcile within myself what exactly the point of faith was...til I came home. Andrew asked me, "Why don't you come to Mass with me." Long story short...I ended up falling in love with the Catholic faith, and finally after 21 years...found myself and where I belonged within the body of Christ.
   Faith is simply belief and power. It is the one thing that gets us from humanity to the divine. It is the separation. How simple yet powerful is the act of believing that we as humans are here on this earth for a more grand purpose than just to exist. We have to believe in something. Some people find it in others, some people find it in things...yet, in the end we will be left wanting something more. I firmly believe in the power of faith. Faith is something we have and then express. It must be acted out. It is action.
   I am still reconciling myself as a Catholic. When I converted, I found it easier to define myself as a Catholic than a Christian, just because of the negative connotation that came with the word Christian. Now, I am a Catholic Christian...those words are interchangeable. All Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholics. I do hope that one day people realize this. I do believe that most people understand this to be true, but there are some that don't...and that saddens me.
   I love my faith! I love being Catholic! I love being Christian...but it took some pain and heartache to get me to this point. I have had friends that considered themselves Christians at one point in their life, and no longer profess any faith. What is my hope? That they will see that the love of Christ supersedes humanity. I do hope that they don't look to me for any sort of pure and perfect example of what Christ is...because I will only push them farther away from the faith.
   This goes back to the idea that I will stumble and fall and be the poorest example, at times, of what a Christian is, but I will continue to struggle in my humanity and rely on my faith in the One who is perfect. That is what I hope people will see.

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