Skip to main content

Faith...

   My brother always told me that we will at any given point in our lives have a crisis. And in those crises they will manifest themselves in one of three ways...faith, hope, or love. He told me that even when we think we are out of the woods with the crisis we will encounter another, and when we think that we have one figured out and we are on to the next, it may come up years later.
   Faith...I think that we all have this crisis. I was raised in a Christian home, going to church on a very consistent basis: Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. There was never a question where my family was at these times. My family has always been connected with the ministry in some form or fashion. It was what it was...I knew nothing different.
   But as I grew up, I began to question my Christianity and my faith. I remember having this very distinct thought walking down the halls of the American Red Cross, "I don't think that a non-Christian would listen to Christian music and enjoy it as much as I do...so I must be a Christian." I couldn't define it for myself. I knew what I was raised with; I knew what my parents taught me; I knew the core beliefs, and could even quote many a scripture, but I still didn't know what it meant for me.
   Then...Andy decided he wanted to become Catholic. Holy crap!! What?! I couldn't even begin to fathom something so outlandish and crazy. I had heard of Catholics and the backwoods methods of their faith. I knew that I was never going to believe what they did or be okay with his decision, and I certainly was never going to become one. However...something happened.
    When I went to work with the American Red Cross during Hurricane Katrina, I remember visibly struggling with my faith. I remember telling friends and people I would meet about God and what I thought I believed, but I couldn't reconcile within myself what exactly the point of faith was...til I came home. Andrew asked me, "Why don't you come to Mass with me." Long story short...I ended up falling in love with the Catholic faith, and finally after 21 years...found myself and where I belonged within the body of Christ.
   Faith is simply belief and power. It is the one thing that gets us from humanity to the divine. It is the separation. How simple yet powerful is the act of believing that we as humans are here on this earth for a more grand purpose than just to exist. We have to believe in something. Some people find it in others, some people find it in things...yet, in the end we will be left wanting something more. I firmly believe in the power of faith. Faith is something we have and then express. It must be acted out. It is action.
   I am still reconciling myself as a Catholic. When I converted, I found it easier to define myself as a Catholic than a Christian, just because of the negative connotation that came with the word Christian. Now, I am a Catholic Christian...those words are interchangeable. All Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholics. I do hope that one day people realize this. I do believe that most people understand this to be true, but there are some that don't...and that saddens me.
   I love my faith! I love being Catholic! I love being Christian...but it took some pain and heartache to get me to this point. I have had friends that considered themselves Christians at one point in their life, and no longer profess any faith. What is my hope? That they will see that the love of Christ supersedes humanity. I do hope that they don't look to me for any sort of pure and perfect example of what Christ is...because I will only push them farther away from the faith.
   This goes back to the idea that I will stumble and fall and be the poorest example, at times, of what a Christian is, but I will continue to struggle in my humanity and rely on my faith in the One who is perfect. That is what I hope people will see.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The sun will come out...when?

   I could have really used the sun today. You know that feeling between being in an okay mood and being in a not so okay mood? Well, I am there. And, I know for a fact that the sun would have pushed me to the side of okay...or maybe even taken me to great. No sun today. Just grey, blah weather. I hate it! It makes me doubt things. It makes me create things in my mind. It makes me think of the demeantors breeding bad juju.    I need the sun. Today has been more of a blah day than I have experienced in a long while. The weather isn't just hazy, I have become haze. The weather isn't just dank. I have become dank. The weather isn't just cold. I have become cold. So much so that the phone I answer at work would better serve me if thrown through the window in front of me. So much so that the cell phone I keep in touch with my friends would better serve me if broken.     SAD: seasonal affective disorder. I think most people know what this is...

What is love? Baby, I'm hurting...I'm hurting...🎶🎶

  Early last week was bad for white boy. He was injured and is probably left with a broken foot. Now, he hasn't been to the doctor and continues to walk and work and do all the things. He continues to also piss me off because he hasn't gone. Granted, I tend to be stubborn too, but if that would have happened to me and my foot looked like that, I would have been at the doctor's office first thing in the morning.   Having said that, that is all I can think about in the back of my mind. How much he is in pain and how much it sucks. I can't fix it, but I can get irritated and semi-yell at him for not going to have it checked out. Guess that's how I cope. I love him, but damn is it frustrating.   Sometimes I wonder how people show love. Sometimes I wonder if people show love in grandiose ways or if the subtlety of love is what is true love. Sure, I mean when he proposed that was a good indicator that he loves me. When I said yes is also a good indicator that I love him...

3000 miles...

      ...and I am exhausted. Just a little over an hour and a half ago, I reached 3000 miles on my trip, and as I sit here in this hotel room, in Fort Stockton, TX, I am realizing how tired I am. Isn't vacation supposed to be refreshing and relaxing? Yet, I feel neither. I feel as though I am running on fumes, like my car was moments ago before I gave her a drink.       I spent that last hour thinking about all the things I have done, all the people I have seen, all the wonderful food I have eaten, and I realize I am so blessed. I have everything I need and all the love and support a person could ask for, and because of that, I am truly blessed.       It took everything in my power to turn on my computer and type this, so this post is uber short. But, I wanted to thank everyone, thus far, who has extended a gracious hand to host me and be there for me in just a manner to show me love. I love each and everyone of you. (I am sure this will no...