Skip to main content

Hope...

   My brother once told me that the most selfish thing a person can do is hope. After I asked him to explain this, I clearly understood. Hope...the one thing that I can't do for anyone else. Sure, often we say: "I hope the best for you, or I hope that you get better." But in the end...those are just sentimental words that don't actually do anything. I must admit that I am guilty of this very thing. Often do I say, "I hope that you..." (fill in the blank)
   But hope is the one thing that we can truly only do for ourselves. It is the most selfish thing we can do. And the good thing about this is that it is not a unholy selfishness but a righteous one. The opposite of hope is despair, and in today's society I find that most of what we encounter is despair. A disparaging attitude of humanity. And how sad. Many times have I been in a crisis of hope, and many times do I come out of that crisis with a new found attitude of triumph and gratitude.
   I think this is why I love fantasy so much. I believe that only in Scripture and tales of fantasy do we really encounter the true meaning of hope. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Peter 3:15, "Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope." Until Andy died, I understood the fantastical idea of hope. But when I no longer had him here with me, I understood the reason for my hope...to see my brother again.
   I distinctly remember speaking to a dear friend who is no longer a professed Christian talk about the death of his mother. It wasn't long after Andy had died, and I was (and still am) completely adamant about seeing his bright and beautiful smile again. As we were speaking, he told me that he had to reconcile the idea that he would never see his mother again, and that he was okay with that idea. I couldn't accept it. I wouldn't accept it. I won't accept it.
   I can't imagine, and this is speaking from my hope, why God, in his infinite mercy, would allow a world to exist for people to experience others and grow deeply in relationships with each other and then allow that relationship to cease to exist after only 60-80 years...and in my case...25 years. I knew Andy for 25 years, and that certainly is no where near long enough. So, is my hope in the fact that I will one day see his face? Absolutely. Is that enough for you? Who cares! It is for me!
   I firmly believe in the afterlife. I firmly believe in the eternity I will one day spend not only with Andrew but with my heavenly Father. I first began to believe and focus on hope when I watched Harry Potter (yeah, yeah...I brought it up again.) Hear me out...here exists this world in which everything should go wrong, and it does, and in the end after the darkness seems so overwhelming the light wins. Good wins. Dumbledore says, "Hope can be found in the darkest of places, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
   I promise that with every beat of my heart and breath in my lungs, I will profess the hope that I have in myself and in the One who created me. I can't hope for someone else, but I can certainly offer up prayers for their own hope. I believe...I hope, and if you ask me why I hope be prepared for a long explanation because I have one, and I certainly am not afraid to share it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The sun will come out...when?

   I could have really used the sun today. You know that feeling between being in an okay mood and being in a not so okay mood? Well, I am there. And, I know for a fact that the sun would have pushed me to the side of okay...or maybe even taken me to great. No sun today. Just grey, blah weather. I hate it! It makes me doubt things. It makes me create things in my mind. It makes me think of the demeantors breeding bad juju.    I need the sun. Today has been more of a blah day than I have experienced in a long while. The weather isn't just hazy, I have become haze. The weather isn't just dank. I have become dank. The weather isn't just cold. I have become cold. So much so that the phone I answer at work would better serve me if thrown through the window in front of me. So much so that the cell phone I keep in touch with my friends would better serve me if broken.     SAD: seasonal affective disorder. I think most people know what this is...

What is love? Baby, I'm hurting...I'm hurting...🎶🎶

  Early last week was bad for white boy. He was injured and is probably left with a broken foot. Now, he hasn't been to the doctor and continues to walk and work and do all the things. He continues to also piss me off because he hasn't gone. Granted, I tend to be stubborn too, but if that would have happened to me and my foot looked like that, I would have been at the doctor's office first thing in the morning.   Having said that, that is all I can think about in the back of my mind. How much he is in pain and how much it sucks. I can't fix it, but I can get irritated and semi-yell at him for not going to have it checked out. Guess that's how I cope. I love him, but damn is it frustrating.   Sometimes I wonder how people show love. Sometimes I wonder if people show love in grandiose ways or if the subtlety of love is what is true love. Sure, I mean when he proposed that was a good indicator that he loves me. When I said yes is also a good indicator that I love him...

3000 miles...

      ...and I am exhausted. Just a little over an hour and a half ago, I reached 3000 miles on my trip, and as I sit here in this hotel room, in Fort Stockton, TX, I am realizing how tired I am. Isn't vacation supposed to be refreshing and relaxing? Yet, I feel neither. I feel as though I am running on fumes, like my car was moments ago before I gave her a drink.       I spent that last hour thinking about all the things I have done, all the people I have seen, all the wonderful food I have eaten, and I realize I am so blessed. I have everything I need and all the love and support a person could ask for, and because of that, I am truly blessed.       It took everything in my power to turn on my computer and type this, so this post is uber short. But, I wanted to thank everyone, thus far, who has extended a gracious hand to host me and be there for me in just a manner to show me love. I love each and everyone of you. (I am sure this will no...