Skip to main content

Single, 20-something, and living in the midwest

For most, this probably doesn’t seem like too much of a big deal. I can easily scroll through my friend’s list on facebook, and see that most people, I went to high school with or are acquainted with now, are either married, married with kids, or divorced (but that is a whole other set of issues I know nothing about.) But I know singledom, and I certainly know singledom in the land of people who marry young. So how do we fare?
        Eh...we make do. I will admit, that I can get a little sentimental when I see people posting pictures of their adorable children: over and over and over. I get it. Your children are the greatest thing you have accomplished thus far. Yay! Moving on...I understand, I have a dog. No, seriously, I get it. The dog is my world. And the sentimental side of me tends to want to stay away from people with kids, because they make me want them: the kids not the people. And to be clear this has nothing to do with my nieces and nephews. I adore them.
        No, this is about the fact, that I am 29, single and childless. It is a common fact, that when someone from an older generation hears something of this nature it is a shock factor. How could someone be single and childless at 29?    Honestly...it isn’t that hard. But, it isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. I suppose that there are pros and cons. And, I suppose if you look at the motivating factor, one will out way the other.
       
Pros:
1.   I can vacation anywhere and at anytime. In fact, I am currently partaking in the fact that I don’t have kids or a beau so I answer to no one. It is me and me alone. One addendum I want to make is that I do not shirk off responsibility, I just circumvent it to line up to my life at the time.
2.   Alone time. If there is one thing I cherish, almost above all others, it is being alone. It is that recharge time that I crave. It is the ability to just go. Just go and be gone...for however long I feel necessary to keep my sanity.
3.   Cost of existing is cheaper. This is just self-explanatory. I pay for me and myself. I enjoy a lifestyle that I know I can handle and thus execute that lifestyle.

Cons:
1.   No one to come home to. Granted, I still have my wonderful parents, but I have ceased to find that one person that will greet me at the end of the day. The one person that when the shit has hit the fan can take away the stress and pain with just breathing.
2.   No pitter-patter of tiny feet. There is no legacy of my continuance, except what I create, and that is certainly doable, but children are one thing that we show to the world how much we can care for life.
3.   No Family. This takes the first two and combines them into a niche of which people can wholly exist. I find myself craving this family unit, and I am still convinced I am going to have a family someday. But we shall see…
    
    I have no doubt that there are more pros and cons; however, these 6 are the main reasons for each. So, is it worth living in the midwest as a single person? What choice do I have? I make judgement on those that marry too soon and for the wrong reason (even if I shouldn’t.) I make allowances for the fact that I am in a city that is thriving and holds my friends and family. I make do with what I have, and I don’t plan to change. I am fully convinced, that if it is fate or karma or God or whatever other force I lean toward (God =) then I will get to where I need to go at the time I need to get there with whomever by my side.
So, I don’t plan to run toward a goal, nor do I plan to crawl. I plan to stop and smell some flowers, and maybe sit in the sun a few times, but always with the thought in mind that if I try to rush life then I rush experience, and if I rush experience then there is no need to better the world. And that...above all other things is the reason for life.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...