Skip to main content

Decisions decisions

   So, I could sit here and write that I am always one to make my own decisions...and that isn't far from the truth, but there are sometimes that I wish someone could make them for me. For example: I have always liked the idea of an arranged marriage. The thought of not having to work so hard to find someone to fall in love with and then hopefully not get your heat broken. It is all so exhausting. However, now, dating someone who is from the culture of the arranged marriage, I can now see the downfall. (Secretly...I am still fascinated with the whole idea.)
   And even though I consider myself to dance or sway or get jiggy with the beat of my own drum, I still don't like making the tough decisions. Most of the time, I hold my phone with my mother's number flashing berating myself and trying oh so hard not to call her and have her make the decision for me. 
   Am I talking about something in general or specific? Not so much. However, I am speaking more in a general sense. I was driving home from dinner with Zain, and I had this moment of deciding whether or not I should feel one way or another about a decision I had made. Kinda meta if you ask me, anyway...as I was beginning to feel bummed and sad and mopey and self-wallowy I decided I would just grow the hell up and act like an adult. 
   The situation wasn't helped by my ex ex's favorite song that came on my playlist. "No Digas Nada" was a song that he showed me, and instantly brought up too many memories. I didn't skip it. I stopped that a long time ago. *Side note* I have gotten to the point with my brother and with Julian, that when I hear songs that they loved or listened to that remind me of them I will play the song and enjoy the memories. It took awhile for me to not skip a song, but I figured I needed to work through the pain. Now with the ex...I am still working on that. Good thing he liked electronica and I didn't listen to it much. *Side note over*
   I guess what I am getting at is that even though, at 29, I am still tempted to ask someone or desire someone to make the hard decisions for me. I had an opportunity to apply for a job in Houston today (thanks to the person who told me) and even though the utopian idea flashed through my mind (boy does it look nice) I can't. It isn't about a boy, it isn't about family, it isn't about friends...it is about the fact that I am doing what I am doing here in Tulsa, and I couldn't be more happy than where God has me at this very moment. 
    I am so thankful for what he has put in my life, and to make this decision, even though it isn't something that is remotely feasible, wasn't easy. I mean...I had to make one. It wasn't too difficult, but still it took a moment for me to consciously say no. Sometimes, and even very recently, I have made some hard decisions that have changed things drastically for myself...some good and some not so good. But, I am learning that I am still the only one truly in control of my decision making process. What is so odd, and I think everyone can completely agree is that it is so easy for me to tell people to make their own decisions, and to encourage them to make the decision and stick with it. But to actually listen to myself...ugh! Sucks!
   Who knows...maybe one day I will have a kid and be able to impart this nugget of wisdom on them: that of "make your own decisions and stick with them." (BTW...I am not a fan of fickle people.)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tiger must stay in your backpack...

   I'm not that parent. The one who gloats too much, and shows off all the pictures. The parent who relays every detail of their kid to let others know how incredible I think they are. Perhaps it is a flaw. Who knows. And I also pride myself in not being a helicopter parent. I teach and let go. I discipline and let go.    And I thought I would be ready for this: first day of Pre-K. I have been very positive and uplifting and have wanted my son to be extra ready to go to school. We have talked about it for months! I am ready... Or so I thought.  This morning, as white boy was leaving to take them to daycare, he said to Owen, "You can't take Tiger to school tomorrow or he will have to stay in your backpack, so do you want to take him to daycare today?" I thought little of it, but as Owen threw him down on the ground and turned to head out the door, my throat hitched. "Are you sure you don't want to take him today?" He said no. It was a sense of finality.  ...

The Sacred Requiem

  He handed me the hymnal and asked me if I was ready...if I could do this. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never planned a funeral, and even if I had imagined planning one it sure wasn't this early in life and it sure wasn't for my only brother, my only sibling. At 25, I felt like a little child getting left behind in a sea of strangers. I was terrified.   2 days prior, my heart stopped beating. 2 short days before this, my peaceful world collided with the dark. And now I had to prepare for the world to say goodbye to greatness. The tree fell in the woods and the world shook with its sudden end. And we, as the collective, needed to imagine that very tree as the beautiful piece of woodwork it now was and bow to it's new exulted shape.   I wasn't sure how to plan a requiem. But, it had been placed in my hands and I wanted to give him the best I could. He deserved it. He deserved life...to live...to breathe still and chase every dream he thought into...

"To be or not to be..."

   In the famous lines from Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare's Hamlet, we hear the contemplation of suicide: "To be or not to be...that is the question." And what a powerful question that is.    All over social media we have been privy to the not so secret decision made by Brittany Maynard to end her life. And what a horrifically tragic story this is. So what is the right attitude or stance we should have concerning this beauitful, young girl who decided to take her life?    I remember several years back I watched a documentary on Dr. Kevorkian aka Dr. Death. It was a look into his methods of assisted suicide. And as I watched this video I couldn't help but mentally stand behind the actions of this doctor. And up until the point he made it a political issue, I supported him. I still do.    Now, whether you think one way or another, let me say one thing...I don't think suicide is God's perfect will for our lives, but His perfect will wasn't for Brit...