I told him I felt like I was on the verge of a grand decision. That I felt I was standing on the precipice about to jump off into the abyss or turn around and walk away. And more than anything I wanted to jump.
But that's just the thing. I also told him I wasn't the only who held my fate. He also carries a big part of that decision. I realize after last night that I was fitted with wings of which to jump with, but then there was him... the one who could push me off the cliff or physically turn me around and guide me back to safety.
In all my years, I have been less the one to take the way others do. I tend to want to forge my own path, but even so I live according to a higher set of standards and ethical codes. But who doesn't? We all have our standards. I only call mine higher because I believe in the divinity of the One of whom I try to follow. I say all this because up until this point it has affected my decision to jump or walk.
Now... having said that...I have jumped. I have conscientiously made the decision that jumping into the unknown is okay and something I desire, and so, this other person pushed me. But the beauty of this push is that he is right there beside me riding the wind and is also eager to see where we land.
It all sounds so cryptic doesn't it? Yeah. I know. But even though I am riding the unknown that doesn't mean I am no longer scared. I am freaking terrified.
But that's just the thing. I also told him I wasn't the only who held my fate. He also carries a big part of that decision. I realize after last night that I was fitted with wings of which to jump with, but then there was him... the one who could push me off the cliff or physically turn me around and guide me back to safety.
In all my years, I have been less the one to take the way others do. I tend to want to forge my own path, but even so I live according to a higher set of standards and ethical codes. But who doesn't? We all have our standards. I only call mine higher because I believe in the divinity of the One of whom I try to follow. I say all this because up until this point it has affected my decision to jump or walk.
Now... having said that...I have jumped. I have conscientiously made the decision that jumping into the unknown is okay and something I desire, and so, this other person pushed me. But the beauty of this push is that he is right there beside me riding the wind and is also eager to see where we land.
It all sounds so cryptic doesn't it? Yeah. I know. But even though I am riding the unknown that doesn't mean I am no longer scared. I am freaking terrified.
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