"Getting older's not been on my plans"

  Lately, I have seen countless memes about that one guy. You know, the one who opens doors, plans the special date, wants to spend time with you more than his friends, texts back immediately, would rather see you on your ugly day than any other girl on her best. That guy...   Following these memes, I have seen girls say, "They don't exist." Tumblr and FaceBook are full of these. A few weeks back, I took a look back on my Tumblr and saw them on my own page. I have periods of feelings, and my Tumblr is a much better representation of those periods. I have some that evoke female power, some that express my depression concerning the passing of my brother, others that express my sadness with guys and their complete inability to measure up to what I thought they should, and some that are just representations of my existential mind.   I think I always knew this "guy" existed. I was always pretty sure that those of us who didn't think they did were wrong. I suppo

  I read a story of a young girl around 12 who like most preteen girls are full of life, vivacity, and unabridged emotions. It was interesting reading what she had to say in her oh so woe-is-me voice. She spoke of her mother and sister who didn't often understand her. She spoke of her father, the man she most identified with. She spoke of some friends of the family who came to live with them. She spoke of her life as though she had no care in the world. She spoke like she had lived long enough to understand the world.   Ha! What does a 12 year old know of life? I have lived more than double that time, and I am still trying to figure out life. So often I read on social media people ranting and raving of being misunderstood. We get it okay...you are a soul who no one would get because you have lived and experienced as no one else has. Right? How come we make it our pain against someone else's? How is it that we spend more time trying to measure our differences than our similarit

  Recently, I have been thinking about this quote, "If your are not losing friends, then you aren't growing up." I have lost several friends as an adult. Some I thought would be around forever. I have gained some new ones that I wouldn't change for the old ones. And I have some friends that are just indelible marks on my heart; therefore, will never go away (for the good.)   But recently I have been thinking about the ones that are gone. One in particular. She happens to be the first friend I made when my family and I moved to Tulsa. I knew no one. I was the new kid at school. I had moved from a very very small school to a much larger school with the already slight inability to make friends easily. But, she accepted me.   After high school, we stayed in touch missing several beats when she went to law school and when she moved out of state...we just seemed to grow closer. We texted all the time. In fact, she was usually my good morning or good night text. Then one d