It was hard enough remembering my toast. The one I had prepared so diligently and thought and thought over to no end. It was something he and I had talked about a few times--the fact I would have one memorized and ready to publish and his would be winged from the top of his head. But, with a rough start I did remember. And my tribute, of course, mentioned my brother. How could it not? See, I never wanted to be with anyone who didn't know my brother. I wanted him to continue to be alive and well within the hearts of me and my beloved. I talked, often, about Andy. I referenced my brother in random conversations he and I would hold...especially since there were many things about him that reminded me of Andy. I told him so. He didn't flinch. It was rough not having him there to dance with me; it was rough not having him there wish me well; it was just rough. Not any less beautiful, but rough none-the-less. It wasn't that I felt him there, as many people say, "Oh, yo