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38 years of dust

   It was a sacrament of dying to self. It was a sacrament of remembering mortality. It was a sacrament of giving up a singular identity and taking on the act of community. 38 years ago...today: my parents entered into marriage. They made a promise, no matter how on one side it might have been a fickle decision, they made it, and they stuck with it.
   It is a ritual of remembering that we are dust and to dust we shall return. It is a ritual of turning away from sin and returning to the gospel. Today, we celebrate Ash Wednesday: a ritual that allows us the chance to look at our mortality with the a defining lens so that we may examine our soul before Easter.
   How apropos that they should fall on the same day this year. When I think of marriage, often the idea of eternity abounds. When I think of Ash Wednesday, often the idea of mortality is present. But, they not only reflect each other, they compliment each other. We see eternity in our mortality. Make sense? My parents made the vow to spend their earthly eternity loving and respecting each other. When we take the mark of the ashes we are vowing to look at ourselves as mere mortals. Both are beautiful gifts of God's grace.
   I have to admit, and my parents can both attest to this, I have often been scared of the idea of marriage. As much as I love my parents, they haven't always been the best example of wedded bliss. In fact, it was much easier to say I didn't want to get married than to have a volatile marriage as they had. But, for some unknown grace of God, they are still together. Can I pinpoint the reason? Grace, mercy, complete forgiveness, sadness, abandonment, low self-worth, peace, hope...all these things, and more, probably had contribution to the reason they are still together.
   There are times when it pains me to remember the hard times my parents went through, but at the end of the day, I have to smile. These two people are genuinely human. They understand pain, suffering, and forgiveness more than most people that I know. And, even though I may not have had the best example of marriage...I had the best example of unabashed forgiveness and perseverance, and that is enough for me to desire the intimacy of marriage.
   I love Ash Wednesday. I love Lent. When I am asked what is my favorite holiday, it isn't Christmas or Thanksgiving or the 4th of July...it is Lent and then Easter. As I have gotten older, the idea of self-sacrifice becomes more and more appealing. Perhaps, because I tend to be a selfish person by nature, or at least I think I am, perhaps I am not. I do have my tendencies. But, more importantly, as I have grown closer with my faith, anytime that I can spend in observance of the sacrifice Christ has made on my behalf the more passionate the journey.
   Today, I get to celebrate a sacred sacrament of marriage and the sacrificial moment Christ encountered his true humanity: in the desert. I am blessed. I am blessed because of my parents and because of my Savior. Here is to 38 years of marriage between two humans who recognize their eternal mortality, and a night where my mortality becomes celebrated instead of feared.

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