Skip to main content

Depth over distance

Ben Howard, my favorite musician, writes, “Depth over distance every time, my dear. And this tree of ours may grow tall in the woods. But it’s the roots that will bind us here to the ground.” I think I listened to this song at least 4 times today, and it kept running through my heart. Especially with the beautiful wedding that I just attended. After trying to understand love in a matter of physical distance and then in emotional distance, I can see that it isn’t easy. But the most important part is the foundation or roots that are set in the beginning of that relationship.
I think I know now why the ex and I didn’t work. As I watched the vows exchange between man and woman, I understood these two and the dedication they have forged with each other. It hasn’t been an easy road, and it certainly hasn’t been a short one, but they have taken the time to build the foundation that will grow them forever together. He and I didn’t. We struggled to plant the sapling that was the tree of our relationship, and instead of cultivating that tiny tree, we watched it wither and die. And it couldn’t salvaged.
I would often listen to this song while feeling so much hurt, and try to figure out why I couldn’t just be with a distant person. I couldn’t understand why I was so adamant about being physically close to this man. But, it makes sense now. Because we had no foundation. I desired to be close so I could try and water and water the relationship that was so newly planted.
It didn’t happen. We didn’t happen. And this song just resonates within me now. I remember having a conversation with him about the rocky start we were given, and how I would do anything in my power to make it work. I wanted him. I loved him. I was ready to take my heart strings and weave the gap as closed as I could. But to him the crack in that foundation was too big to mend.
And as I watched these two people give of their everything I realized that is what I want. I want that tree to grow skyward and downward, and the only way to do that is to cultivate it. Weddings like this solidify my growing desire to be with someone body and soul, so that when we are apart in distance nothing matters. And nothing will matter because the roots will hold for whatever storms may come. Come what may...depth over distance.
Una dia!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beneath the Weeping Willow

  "The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose." —  Frank Herbert, Dune   Time, although a very evasive concept, is in each moment a gift. And most often, I don't stop to look back at the road I have traveled on. Even more so, the road Justin and I have travelled together. But today it is warranted. Today marks 9 years as husband and wife, and 9 years of truly some amazing and adverse moments. We have lost the most cherished and birthed the most loved all the while interwoven with each other.    I will be the first to admit that our day to day appears to some: mundane. However, inside the ordinary he and I together have understood the profundity of love. It is brash and loud, but it is also cautious and quiet.  "Love is a many splendored thing."  It is the true basis of community, and I am proud of the community we have built.   The  willow  is the t...
Post a Comment
Read more

A human mirror

  I look at myself, a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't think myself attractive for a long time. Now, I can look at myself even when someone else is in the bathroom. Before, I entered with head bowed and left the same. There are times when I look at myself 3 times before I leave. Most of the time, I focus on one aspect of myself: my eyes, my hair, my waist line, my clothes...something. I can see how this seems egotistical, but perhaps I am making up for lost mirror time.   However, I can only remember one time that I actually looked into the mirror to see something deeper than my outward appearance. And it scared me. I honestly didn't think it was possible to look into the mirror and truly see oneself. It always seemed so cliché. Until I did it.   That was 4 months ago. The moment I decided to walk away from a "relationship" that was nothing more than a confusing drag. It held me bound and clipped the wings I knew God had given me to f...
Post a Comment
Read more

79 days and a canker sore

  I haven't written in what seems like forever. I think of something I want to say then sleep takes over, or it is time to get out of the shower. But, I figure I should. So many thoughts...so little time. Today marks 79 days till I am no longer able to mark the "singles" box on any for I fill out. Today marks 79 days till I am no longer a Dever. Today...tomorrow...forever...   I don't stress often. Or at least, I don't feel as though I do. I often feel more overwhelmed but not necessarily stressed. I always thought I handled stress well. In fact, I took a test once that was measuring stress levels. I remember answering... yes to a death (my brother) job change (fired and new job) life change (went back to school) traveling (long vacation) all within a 6 month period. The test concluded that I was stressed to the max. I specifically remember taking this test on the toilet, and thinking... huh... I don't feel it.   However, the older I get, I tend to listen to...
Post a Comment
Read more