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Fighting like moms and dads

       It is always hard when you meet someone new and you are trying to explain to them the good things about yourself, but you know eventually the bad will follow. My hardest thing to explain is the way I get when I am upset. I always thought I had it all figured out. I always thought I was a pretty level headed person, until it came time to get into an argument.
       For years, I watched my parents fight and have arguments. My father is the "leave me alone until I am ready to talk about it" type, and my mother is the "let's talk about it now and resolve it" type. I would like to think I am somewhere in the middle, but at the end of the day, I am more like my father. And I always wondered which one was better...well, neither really. Fighting isn't a great thing to do, but it inevitably happens. 
       I was having a conversation with someone this evening, and as the topic of arguing and fighting came up, I realized that I was trying my hardest to come across as someone who doesn't fight or argue, and if and when I do I am pretty chill about it. Well, this isn't exactly the truth. I will admit (in all honesty) that I don't fight or argue about much. I don't find many things to get upset about, but when I do, I tend to need some space and think things over before I can talk them out.
       And as I listened to this person tell me that they are the kind of person that doesn't like to leave an argument upset or in silence with out resolving the issue, I thought to myself, "Damn, Alysse, you are just mean." Not really. I don't think so, but I do see that I have this innate desire to want to figure out why I am upset before I can come to the place where I can talk it out with the other person. The bad part about this kind of reaction is that now when I walk away to calm down or figure things out in my head, I am at the grace of the other person. 
       And that sucks! In one moment, I realized that it isn't that my fighting technique is better or worse, it just comes across as worse. I am making or asking or begging, even silently, for the other person to wait for me. I think in the end it is all about compromise. I am still figuring out how I fight and argue. It is sometimes situational. It can and does depend on the two people in the argument. Perhaps this is a cop out answer so that I don't feel so bad when I am the one that walks away, but it is what it is...
        I just hope that the person that ends up with me, will allow me this "regroup" time when we argue, because inevitably we will.

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