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Milestones

        At midnight, I was older (in theory) than Andy was. What do I mean by this? Andrew graduated college when he was 29. It was May 2010. He died in August. I graduated in May 2014. I was 28, but turned 29 in July. As of this night, I was and am older than him. I surpassed the moment of his death. I am still here. And I know that my mother can now breathe easier knowing that we have crossed that milestone.
         It isn't easy forging a path that has been untrod. I always looked to the path that he had created for me. He surpassed me in many things, and now, as of midnight, I am forging my own. You may think that it is just a date and an age, but it is more than that. I am now...completely on my own. Yeah, yeah...he is still with me, I get it, but in an abstract way, I am here to forge ahead without his footsteps to guide me. And I am okay.
         I couldn't express the thankfulness that I have with my friends. I couldn't put into words the amazing relationships that I have. I am truly blessed beyond words to those in my life that create a joy within me. I could call you each by name, but why? If you know who you are then what does it matter? If I have failed to express the meaning you have in my life than I am the failure. I apologize.
         I am ready for the newness that is coming. I am ready to move on and take my life and make something beautiful of what I have. I am ready for God to take what little I think I have and make something grand. I have no idea what that is, but I am ready. (Granted, I must be careful of what I say, for God will sometimes give us what we ask.) However...bring it!
         To my brother:
                You were my life source. The one thing that truly made sense in my life. I couldn't truly ever understand what you meant to me, but I am beginning to come to full understanding of the love and care you had for me. I hope that I gave you a little of what you gave me, and I am ready to live life to the full potential that you knew I had. I love you as Valentine loved Ender, and grieve as she did when he left her for Lusitania.
         -Your sister, Alysse

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