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A big fuck up?

      I might have just told my soul mate that I can't be with him. How fucked up is that? I might have just pushed away the one person that destiny created to be my equal. And even though I have the opportunity to take it back and be with him...I won't. Fuck me!
      Zain...I have never had so much fun or excitement or potential with a man, in my life, and it is all thanks to you. You are an amazing man. From the way you look to how you speak. I want you. But I can't have you. And I know that...and I am willing to slowly shove you away, for my own standards and boundaries.

 God, I hope that you have the right person for me. I hope that you give me a sign or show me what you have for me, and even though it isn't Zain, I trust you. This is me trusting you. By making this decision, and not engaging with this man, I am giving all control over to you...bring the one you want me to have. I am ready...

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